Heartbroken [Phillip Hamilton x Reader]

Ch. 12 Waiting in the Wings

Y/n POV

"For now on, you are not going out without adult supervision. You will spend most of your time on your studies and tutoring. If not that, then you will be working on your personal interests. You shall not interrupt me when I'm working."

Dad keeps going on and on about these new rules he's setting up. They are all restricting me from doing anything that involves other people. I know he thinks that he needs to protect me but I'm not a porcelain doll!

"Can I have friends over?"

"Theodosia is allowed to come over but no one else. She's a nice girl who is a good influence on you."

"But what is wrong with Philip? He's my best friend and now I can't see him?"

"Young lady he's the son of Alexander Hamilton and could be learning some inappropriate mannerisms that will influence him in later years. He's not good for you. This is the last time I want to hear his name said in this house. Understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now go off to start your Latin lessons."

That day was the first of my new life. For the next 10 years I was almost never allowed outside the house. My only company was Bertha and the occasional visit from Theodosia but it still wasn't the same. I see my father only during meal times and there's not much to talk about anymore. We've grown more distant over time.

I started writing letters to Philip and that was our only source of communication for a long time but then...his letters stopped coming. Without a word, they were silenced. I at first thought he was on another vacation but then I remembered a vacation doesn't last several months. I don't know what I did wrong. Was I annoying him? Was it something I said? What was wrong with me that made him stop sending letters?

I had stopped painting a while back because I had no inspiration or motivation to do so. I have turned to singing and song writing instead. I mainly write about my current situation that has made me feel a bundle of emotions I never knew I could have at once.
Sadness, anger, confusion, fear, anxious, insecure, and depressed.

During the night, when everyone's asleep, I like to open my window and sing out into the world. It makes me feel like a normal person again.  Here's a new song I've been working on.

Guess we all are born with parts to play
Some of us are stars, and some are just in the way
I know I was meant for glory
But that's never what my story brings
And yet I keep on waiting

When you have the passion and the drive
You expect your moment center stage to arrive
I show up with heart a blazing
Ready to achieve amazing things
But I'm left waiting in the wings

I hear my cue
And yet I'm kept there, waiting
Know what to do
And still I stand there, waiting
It's always someone else who sings
While I'm left waiting in the wings

And so I keep on keeping on
My chances come and then I blink and they're gone
Always overlooked unfairly
While pretending that it barely stings
But it stings, yes it stings

And I'll shed no tears
I'll only keep on waiting
If no one cheers
Well, I can keep on waiting
Who cares how loud
The silence rings
You'll find me waiting in the wings

I feel a tear roll down my cheeks and I close my window.