[Thursday, April 1st, 2010 - 12:09 AM]
Haz: Lou, I have something serious to discuss with you.
Tommo: you can't possibly think i'm gonna fall for that
Haz: Why? This is incredibly important.
Tommo: oh hazza, you're such an amature
Haz: Am not.
Tommo: i rarely know what day it is, but as a generally savage person, i'm well aware that it's april fools
Tommo: i wasn't born yesterday, kiddo
Haz: Well, speaking of birth.
Tommo: i have a feeling i know where this is going and i don't like it one bit
Tommo: it won't work, i'm already onto you
Haz: Will you just listen to me?
Tommo: fine, have a go then
Haz: This is really hard for me to say.
Haz: I've been struggling to tell you this for a long time now, but I think this is the right moment.
Haz: I'm having your baby.
Tommo: HAZ
Tommo: YOU'RE SO STUPID
Tommo: I HATE YOU SO MUCH
Haz: I'm 3 months along now.
Tommo: i'm fairly sure that pregnancy tests don't even work that early
Haz: Google would beg to differ.
Tommo: ah, mate, you've just gone and given yourself away now
Tommo: not that that was what gave it away. this whole thing was a mess, really
Haz: Well, shit.
Haz: I've been caught.
Haz: Okay, but I do actually have something important to tell you.
Haz: Let me finish this time.
Tommo: that's what she said
Haz: Gross.
Tommo: i'm proper excited for this attempt, though
Haz: I'm serious, Lou.
Tommo: sure you are, buddy
Haz: You're the father.
Tommo: for god's sake, why are you like this
Tommo: you've really taken this to a whole new level with that one
Tommo: the fact that you know so little about the reproductive system is very evident rn
Tommo: but what's even more concerning is that you probably know more about a frog's anatomy than a human's
Haz: I 100% do.
Haz: But we're not having a baby
Tommo: ah well, you got my hopes up for nothing then
Tommo: i was already enrolling them in peewee football for next fall
Haz: I didn't know kids could walk that early.
Tommo: i'm pretty sure they're like giraffes, they just pop out ready to go
Haz: Someone's been watching Planet Earth.
Tommo: i watch for the plot
Haz: The plot, huh?
Tommo: yup
Haz: Okay.
Tommo: fine, david attenborough is my idol
Haz: His voice is my dad.
Tommo: his voice raised my serotonin levels
Haz: His voice single-handedly cured world hunger.
Tommo: his voice gives me a reason to get out of bed every morning
Haz: Tell me about it.
Haz: No, what are we doing? I'm still trying to tell you something.
Tommo: right yes, pardon me, continue
Haz: There isn't a baby in my stomach, it's butterflies.
Haz: I like you.
Tommo is typing...
YOU ARE READING
Tommo is Typing
Short Storya witty story about two idiots who meet over the internet ft. dad jokes
