To Be Alone With You

14. fool's holiday

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

FOOL'S HOLIDAY

—

The first thing that Kaspian heard on Christmas morning was his mother crying.

He checked the clock above his door, which read six thirty. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he stretched, lying in bed for a few more minutes, staring at his ceiling.

Contemplating for a minute on whether or not to go into his mom's room, Kaspian settled on leaving her alone for a bit. He opened his phone, to his messages. He checked the group chat first, replying to the messages there. And then he opened his other texts, surprised to see one from Rowan. He immediately remembered that he still had the book he was supposed to give him. I guess there's no better time than Christmas.

Practically rolling himself out of bed, Kaspian went downstairs, pouring a glass of water for himself, and making coffee for his mom. He left the coffee on the counter, and went back upstairs. They hadn't put up a Christmas tree, and the house was mostly bare, save for a pathetic piece of tinsel they'd put up at the front door. It was kind of sad, to be honest.

Kaspian didn't particularly want to be alone, but he knew his mom needed some time to herself— so he tried to push all his thoughts to the back of his mind, locked away. Fuck, I need a distraction.

Going downstairs for the second time, Kaspian went into the room they used as storage. He dragged out the fake Christmas tree which they used every year, the cardboard in which it was kept making a scraping noise against the floor.

His mom came out of her room, looking in the direction of the commotion. "What are you doing, Kaspian?"

Wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, he sighed. "Putting up the tree. Merry Christmas, by the way."

She cupped his face in her hands, and kissed his forehead, rubbing her thumb softly under his eye. "Merry Christmas, mijo. Let me just freshen up, and I'll come back here to help you, okay?"

Kaspian didn't reply with anything but a nod, as he tried to get the tree upright. He knew it wasn't right of him— not when his mom was evidently upset— but Kaspian needed a distraction, before he lost his fucking mind.

Finally succeeding in making the tree stand, Kaspian opened up the box of decorations. A wave of memories of all the past Christmases washed over Kaspian, and he felt like he was drowning in them. Quickly unlocking his phone, Kaspian scrolled through his contacts until he reached Rowan.

kaspain -
are you free today?

Setting his phone aside, Kaspian unloaded all the decorations, and he began to put them up on the tree. He was almost done with a quarter of the tree when he received a reply.

ro1 -
yea ofc !! u ok w coming to my place tho??

kaspain -
yeah (: just send me your address lmao, can't remember where tf you live rip

Kaspian's mom finally reappeared from the bathroom. He noticed that her eyes were rubbed raw, and even the brownness of her skin couldn't hide the redness on the tip of her nose.

They decorated the tree, with only snippets of conversation between the two of them, and Kaspian tried desperately to focus on putting the ornaments on the tree, rather than his own thoughts.

"Can I go to Rowan's house after we're done? I bought him something, and I need to give it to him," Kaspian asked, stretching to decorate the higher parts of the tree that his mom couldn't reach.