To Be Alone With You

18. consequence

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CONSEQUENCE

—

Kaspian woke up to sunlight.

Groaning, he blinked his eyes tiredly, looking around. What the fuck is the time right now? His back ached, and he stretched, hearing it crack multiple times. Should've slept on the bed.

"Morning. Actually... Afternoon."

Kaspian shot straight up, and then whimpered at the excruciating pain in his head. "Fuck me."

"Not quite yet," Rowan stated, handing Kaspian some painkillers and a bottle of water. Kaspian closed his eyes, re-opening them after a minute.

"It's the afternoon?"

"Just past twelve, don't worry." Rowan looked at Kaspian, a curious, but concerned expression on his face. Kaspian lied back down on the couch, and racked his brain, trying to remember what the fuck happened last night.

Suddenly, everything came rushing back to him, hitting him like a truck. He sat up again, and whispered, "Fuck."

"I would've had a more extreme reaction, to be honest."

Immediate guilt and regret washed over Kaspian, and he felt like going back in time and running himself over with a car. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh my fucking fuck. I'm so sorry, oh my god. I'm sorry. Fuck."

Rowan's voice came out clear when he spoke up. "Don't worry. Nothing I couldn't handle."

"No, I shouldn't have made you deal with my fucking emotional ass all night, oh my fuck. I can't believe I dumped all that on you, I'm so sorry. Oh my god, I told you I have a fat fucking crush on you. I want to smite myself. Shoot me in the face."

Somebody exterminate me right fucking now. I hate myself.

Rowan just smiled apologetically. Fucking sadist. Suddenly grabbing Kaspian's hand, Rowan said, "We'll talk about this later, yeah? Let me drive you home first, your mom must be worried."

Kaspian didn't say anything in reply, mind still reeling over all the fucking shit he said to Rowan. Oh my god. Fuck, he knows everything. He was the only one who didn't treat me differently, and now he knows.

"Kaspian. You're not breathing right." Rowan's face was etched with concern. "I won't bring up anything you don't want me to bring up, okay?" Rowan stood up from the ground, taking his car keys in one hand.

What the fuck have I done? This is why I don't get drunk. Never again.

"I'm sorry," Kaspian blurted out, grinding his jaw. "I shouldn't have unloaded all my fucking trauma onto you, not when you have your own shit to deal with."

Rowan pursed his lips, and just said, "We'll talk at your place. Is that okay?"

"Yeah."

Fuck. I've fucked up.

—

Kaspian's mom looked distressed— borderline hysterical— and Kaspian couldn't even blame her. He looked like a trainwreck, with his hair sticking up, eyes bloodshot, and clothes rumpled.

"Mijo, you messaged me and said you were staying the night at Phoenix's house! Why? Where were you? Why do you look like this?"

Rowan snorted behind him, covering it up with a cough.