To Be Alone With You

23. support system

warning: this chapter is on the heavy side (grief, talk of death), so proceed with caution! if you skimmed it and need a recap of the chapter, just lmk and i'll give you a recap :) please don't put your mental health at risk to read this chapter<3

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CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

SUPPORT SYSTEM

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The sky was overcast with grey clouds, threatening rain, and the air completely still, not even an ounce of movement to be seen. The bleak weather just added to Kaspian's sour mood, causing it to dampen even more, leaving him lethargic and listless.

He was completely zoned out all through track practice, and he could barely process anything Atreya was saying to him.

"Kas? You still here?" Atreya asked him, nudging him softly with his own shoulder.

Kaspian nodded absent-mindedly, his head aching because of the number of thoughts swirling in his brain. He just wanted to sleep. And preferably wake up after the entire month had gone by.

A sudden jab in his side brought him back to reality. "Coach has blown his whistle three times already." Atreya stopped, and then looked at Kaspian. "Are you sick? I can take you home if you are."

Snap out of it, Kaspian thought to himself. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just feel a little weird today."

That much was true. Kaspian had woken up to a nightmare, one that had left him extremely shaken up, almost to the point where he considered skipping school, and there was an odd, almost painful feeling in his entire upper body, one which wouldn't go away. He felt like he was suffocating, his chest so unbelievably tight and constricted, that at first, he genuinely thought his heart was failing or something.

Once practice ended, Kaspian made his way to class— twenty minutes late. Why do I even bother going to class at this point?

Kaspian found himself barely paying attention in class, no matter how much he tried. He ended up falling asleep on the palm of his own hand, only to be woken up by the sound of the bell.

He contemplated just saying 'fuck it' and going home, but he didn't really want to skip anymore classes, not with the way all his grades were dropping.

"Hey, Kaspian," his AP English teacher, Ms. Flores, suddenly called out, beckoning him to her desk. "Lemme talk to you real quick for a second."

No, no, no. Kaspian loved her, easily more than any other teacher who taught at the school (apart from Coach Adamson, he was a fucking icon according to Kaspian), but he didn't know if he could deal with a conversation about the fact that he was close to failing his best class.

She sighed, and waited for the other students to leave. "Now, I know that you hate receiving any kind of special treatment, I know. But I've noticed that you're failing this class, Kaspian."

He knew that he was, but it still felt like a blow straight to his stomach when he heard it come from someone else's mouth.

"This used to be your best class, dear. I know that you're struggling, grief doesn't have a time limit. I know that this month and this day must be especially hard for you, so I wanted to offer some extra help with any of the topics that you don't understand, okay? It's okay to ask for help." She gave him a kind smile, one that left Kaspian feeling even more guilty for failing her class.