☀︎ colby ☀︎
seeing sam was so incredibly heartbreaking. he was so sad, and scared, and exhausted. he just.. broke down. it made me upset to see him so upset. he was wearing my hoodie when i arrived, which made me smile. i really did hope i gave him a sense of.. security? i hoped i made him feel safe. because that was what i was at least trying to do. when we went to his room he really just made me want to hold him for hours upon hours, and tell him everything's gonna be ok, and whisper sweet nothings to him until he fell into a peaceful slumber, away from all of his pain. after we laid down, he fell asleep soon enough, tears littering his pretty little face, which i found myself brushing away with gentle fingers. he ended up waking up not too long after, sobbing and gasping. it took him a while to go back to sleep, but not after an endless amount of apologies and sobs. he was truly apologising for everything; cutting, having a shitty father, crying, being 'problematic', even though he wasn't, and bunch of other stuff. i sighed quietly and looked down at him, eyes closed, head against my chest, arm over my chest, body close to mine, snoring escaping his lips.
"i love you," i whispered, placing a feather-light kiss to his forehead. he continued to sleep, curling further into me unconsciously. i watched fondly, stroking my thumb over his arm, my hoodie he was wearing preventing me from touching his soft, bare skin. i'd only got a couple hours sleep, but i was fine. as long as sam was ok, i was ok, and that was all that mattered. he opened his eyes with a jolt, shaking slightly.
"shit," he breathed, bringing a hand up to his face and rubbing his eyes, smiling when he saw me.
"goodmorning," i said softly, my thumb still continuing to brush over his arm, him blissfully unaware of the fact i told him i loved him and kissed his forehead.
"g'morning," he yawned, stretching slightly leaning his head back against my chest.
"how'd you sleep?" i asked, chuckling as he smiled at me sweetly.
"after i woke up earlier it was ok. it was better than it would've been if you weren't here, anyway," he sighed, closing his eyes.
"i think you should have the day off school today," i spoke, my voice soft as he played with the hem of my shirt with his pale, slender fingers.
"i don't wanna stay here with him," he shook his head, his hand laying now flat on my chest.
"i'll skip too and look after you. we can pretend we're going off to school and go to mine. it'll be ok. you need a mental health day," i explained, him picking up one of my hands and putting it in his hair, earning a chuckle from me.
"what's a mental health day?" he asked, looking up at me as i scratched his scalp, causing him to smile at the feeling.
"oh, sammy, you poor thing. it's where you just take a day off and chill, you know, work on your mental health. have a day dedicated to you. we all need one every once in a while," i shrugged, him blushing.
"n-nobody's ever called me that before," he giggled, shaking his head slightly.
"well, get used to it, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more often. and c'mon, we need to get ready to 'go to school'," i grinned, using air quotations to show i was kidding. he nodded, but stayed where he was.
"can we lay here for a few more minutes? i.. i want to be close to you. just a little while longer," he said quietly, eyes drooping slightly.
"sure. five more minutes," i chuckled, watching as he closed his eyes again, a slight smile on his lips.
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lmao if ur gonna leave comments attacking me for having opinions and emotions keep it to urself or leave me the fuck alone
