You're Not My Sister - Demi Lovato

{12} {secrets}

I found my way home.

I didn't stop crying.

Demi's face was one of a terrified deer when they stand in the headlights.

She grabbed hold of me, causing me to wince at the memory.

"What happened? Where were you?" The questions came in faster than I could process.

I held her, I gripped her shirt like my life depended on it.

I couldn't breathe, my lungs weren't working.

I gasped for air as I tried to regain my breath.

I couldn't hear what Demi was saying, it was blocked out.

I was too scared.

She carried me, lay me down.

I was in her bed.

She joined me, pulling me close to her.

"Breathe that's it." I heard.

I tried.

I really tried.

I was no longer gasping, I had air coming in.

She held me, like I was the only thing in the world.

Rocking me back and forth.

Whispering things in my ear.

Telling me how it was going to be okay.

Would it be okay?

I had no innocence left, no dignity.

It was ripped away from me, never to come back.

I could still feel their grip on me.

Their force.

How they put their fingers into me first. How they spat on me.

When they grabbed my hips and thrust themselves deep inside me, repeatedly, all five of them.

Five people.

Attacking me.

They broke me.

They broke my body.

It stung when I sat down, ached when I walked.

But nothing compared to the feeling of disgust and brokenness concealed inside my heart.