☆Cнα⅊тɛʀ 37 ☆

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Please listen to the song

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Please listen to the song. I think this song describe the current situation of Nora's feeling and emotions. Beside, I love this song. ___________________________________
Nora's P.O.V

1 week later

*Triggered warning*


I fell down in a deep pit and I will be never able to come out of it. The darkness consume me. Have you even felt that urge to hurt yourself? That urge was so strong. I saw a blade in front of me and I got hypnotized by it. It was the urge to end everything. I slowly grab the blade. It was an inch away from my skin. The pain will be gone, right? Can dying really ease your pain? My mind was completely blank.

"Hey Nene, I am not finding my dragon toy, have you seen it?" I heard my sister's voice and quickly hide the blade. Oh my god, what the hell was I going to do? I am losing my mind. I have Nina and she is my responsibility. I cannot leave her.
"Hey you ok? You looking pale" said Nina. She is smart. She knows me very well.

"I am good. I think your toys are in mom's room" I said. She smiled and left. She was slowly getting better. For Nina, it was hard for few days but now she is getting happier. We have to move on. I was taking depression meds. Yes I consult a psychiatrist and then came to know that I was suffering from anxiety and depression. I am still suffering. It is hard but I have to get through this, for Nina.

The hard part is that I tried to find a new job but I guess I have a bad luck. I searched few jobs online and I applied for it but didn't get accepted. I was in a ocean without any boat or a life jacket. I was drowning and I guess nobody is coming to help. I have to swim but I don't know how to. I have to work with little money that i have saved over the years. This is not going to last for long. I have to get a job soon. I afraid I have no other choice than asking Elijah for favors. I don't know why is he helping me? What is going on with him? He should hate me and stay away from me because I think, people who I like always die, around me.
Whenever I am home alone, I feel like mom is standing beside me. It is scary but it feels nice. Maybe she is haunting me and she should. I am the reason she died. I always loose the person I love the most. Maybe I am cursed or something. Nobody can love me or they will die or leave me. It would have been fine if it was only me but why should Nina go through this? I took my laptop and open my emails. Maybe I have got accepted for any job.

At least Dr. Arthur didn't forgot us. I know I doubt him and i am sorry for that. I told him not to do this but he never listen to me. He was sending us foods and sometimes clothes. He thinks that I am too young to take care of ourselves. I know I cannot take care of Nina or me but it's not because I am young it's because I am useless. He could have say that on my face, I wouldn't have mind. I checked some new emails, most them are stupid. I didn't receive anything important. Elijah's words were repeating in my mind. Should I call him? Should I go and live with him? No, that's probably a bad idea. He is so arrogant and he might hurt my sister. Is he that bad with everyone? I hope not. He is right though. My sister is everything to me now. If I didn't get a job, i might loose my house and Nina had to leave school. I cannot even imagine that. That's horrible. No Nora you don't need Elijah. But technically you also need him. What am I doing with my life? My phone screen lit up and I saw Jane's message. She always ask me about my condition because she know how sentimental I am. She knows what I am capable of. Once I got so bullied in school that I was ready to end my life but mom was there with me. So, I have this 'killing myself' problem when I was a kid. I need someone to ease my pain. I need mom right now so bad. That place is empty. I need to talk to Elijah. I unlock my phone and call on his number. It ring several times but no response came. Is he angry on me? But he said to call, if I agreed the offer. Where are you Elijah Cooper when I need you? Pick up. After calling him second time I gave up. Maybe he was just bluffing. He likes to make fun of me. I knew it, he will never help me. Suddenly my phone rang and it was none other than Elijah. Yeah, judge him too early. I quickly pick it up.

Nora: Hello, it's Nora, I hope you didn't delete my number. I want to talk about the offer.

Elijah: Didn't thought you will agree so soon. Didn't find any job? I guess not.

Nora: You must be happy now by tormenting me. Well I really need a job. I am willing to stay with you but do not argue with me or don't do that arrogant behaviour.

Elijah: Woah, you are staying with me, why would i follow your rules? it's my choice. You should be thankful.

Nora: I am agreeing because I don't have any other choice, otherwise I would have never stayed with you.

Elijah: Be ready at 9:00, tomorrow morning. Don't be late and wear something comfortable, you don't have to be all formal. I can understand what you are going through now.

Nora: Ok, bossy.

Elijah: By the way, I might have said some of the company to not to hire you. You have agreed to my offer so no turning back. I hate people who back off.

He hung up after saying that. That bastard. He did it on purpose. He knew that if no one hired me then I would have no other choice than asking him. I should have understand that. He is so full of ego that he cannot bear if I find a better job and start a new life. I guess I have to follow my fate, wherever it takes me, I am ready.

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