Who Is Lucas Ryker O'Riley?

48. OVERWHELMING

Once I was seated in a stylist's chair, I discovered Beck had scheduled a cut, color, and style. The works, and not 'just a trim' as I had anticipated.

Beck already knew what she thought was the perfect look for me and asked me to trust her just before instructing the stylist exactly what to give me.

While the girl began to work on my hair another came over, sat on a short stool and pulled up a cart filled with little nail polish bottles and various nail tools.

"No, no," I told her, when she began to slip my shoe off my foot. "I'm not getting my nails done today."

"Sure you are," Beck replied from the next chair over, where she was getting a trim and someone was beginning to work on her nails as well, "Just sit back and enjoy the pampering. I already paid for it."

Well it looked like I was getting French-tips after all; feet and hands.

Now I'm the type of person that bites my nails when I'm nervous, so you can imagine how incredibly short my fingernails were, because I had been a whole lot of nervous since the day we left California.

Before painting my nails, the girl gave me little bit of an extension on the length of both my fingers and toes, with a square oval tip that was about an eighth of an inch longer than my fingertips.

During my hairstyling the girl had to keep me turned with my back to the mirror on our side of the room due to the other girl working on my nails. I also couldn't seen myself in the mirror across from me, because there was someone in that chair, too, blocking my view.

I certainly felt like she was doing a lot to my hair and I wanted nothing more than to be able to see what was happening. At one point I began to get really anxious. I felt like she was buzzing off all my hair on one side.

I was nervous about what it felt like she was doing and not being able to see it, I began to panic a little. I could feel the hair falling off my head and hitting my shoulder. I could also see the length of the hair falling into my lap. She was buzzing one side.

Oh no, oh no, oh no. This can't be happening, I thought. What did Beck tell them? What am I going to do?

I had worked so hard growing my hair out and wanted it longer, so I would look and feel more feminine. I wanted to look pretty, not butch or boyish, and now she was cutting it all off.

"Relax, sweetie," the hair stylist told me. "You look tense. Are you worried about the amount of hair I'm taking off?"

"Yes ma'am, I am."

She tried to calm me down, reassure me, "You needn't be worried, sweetie. I'm not taking it all off, I promise. I am taking a lot off one side, but I guarantee you're gonna love it when I'm done. Relax. Just trust me."

That helped a little, but not much. Sure I was worried about my hair, but it was only a small part of my actual worries.

So much had happened since we left California. While I was okay with it, mostly, it was still a lot and it was all happening incredibly fast.

I was overwhelmed to think that just barely a week ago I was a boy, but look at me now. Not only was I a girl, but thanks to Beck, I was being transformed into someone far beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

Beck thought I was just an unfeminine girl she was introducing to the "wonderful world of beauty," as she put it. If she only knew what was really going on with me.

While the lady continued working on my hair, my thoughts turned to Mandy. I felt bad for her. I hadn't talked to her much since the move. I knew I needed to give her a call, but what would I tell her? I could do it with the video off, but how would I explain that?

She deserved an explanation, I knew that.

She's tried to call me several times when I wasn't home and I've put off calling her back. I'm honestly scared to death of the conversation that will happen when I do finally talk to her.

Not only that, I'd had a disturbing dream last night that had me questioning everything I though I knew about myself. It disturbed me so bad it woke me up and I couldn't go back to sleep. I couldn't quit thinking about it.

Once the stylist was done cutting my hair she informed me she was going to alter the color. I assumed she was going to give me highlights or at most, going to turn it blonde.

Boy was I in for a surprise.