you, me and my big little secret

the D word

"Hey Lills have a good day at school?" Joe asked as she bounded through the playground towards him.

"Yep, tan I have day off tomorrow vough" She used her big puppy dog eyes to try and persuade him as she grabbed his hand starting to walk home.

"What for mummys birthday?"

"Yeah, becwause she on tour and I don't wanna be at school on her birfday"

"Well we'll have to phone her and ask her because I don't have control over that stuff" Joe answered knowing full well he couldn't just give her the day off without her mum's consent.

"Why can't you say I can have the day off?" Lillie looked up at him puzzled.

"Because I'm not a legal guardian of you sweetie"

"Gadwan?"

"Guardian, like a carer someone who looks after you"

"But you do wook after me, wike a daddy" It took a while for Joe's brain to process what she had just said. She thinks of him as a daddy to her.

"But I'm not actually your daddy Lills" Joe replied after a few moments silence.

"But don't you need two people to have a baby?" Joe was a bit surprised that this was what their conversation walking home from school had turned into.

"Yeah but I didn't have you with mummy, remember you didn't know me before strictly did you"

"Twue, who is my daddy ven like properwy if it isn't you"

"I don't know baby, I've never talked to mummy about that stuff"

"Tan I ask her?"

"Sure, we'll give her a quick call when we get home okay"

"Otay" Lillie smiled swinging her and Joe's hand inbetween them, to an outsider it would look like she was his daughter.

~~~

"Hey guys, why you calling me? We normally call before Lillie goes to bed" Dianne asked picking up the facetime call surprised they were calling her at 4pm.

"This one has some questions for you" Joe nudged Lillie's arm next to him. She climbed up onto his lap so she could have a full view of her mum on the phone.

"Hey baby how are ya"

"I'm otay, I miss you vough"

"Awww I miss you too sweet but not long till I see you, anyway what did you wanna ask me"

"Well two fings, first, tan I have the day off school tomorrow becwause it's your birfday?"

"I don't see why not because it's a special occasion isn't it" Lillie smiled widely. "what's your other question?"

"So I asked joey that on the way home, and he said he couldn't answer and we had to phone you becwause he isn't my real daddy and isn't a wegal gadwan.."

"Legal guardian baby" Dianne laughed.

"Yeah vat, so who is my daddy if it isn't joey?" Dianne looked taken aback by her question she hadn't expected her daughter to ask this until she was nearing the age of 10 not nearing the age of 5. Dianne took a while to reply wondering how she could possibly explain to a 4 year old how her dad didn't want her so left a week after she was born.

'Erm...so your dad, he was nice I guess he wasn't joey nice he was just nice and I thought I did love him but I didn't, right this has gone off track, so basically I found out you were in my belly, and he was happy, we both were, then you were born and he realised he wasn't ready for a kid just yet so left us, and I watched you grow up like I still am but now I have joey doing it with me" Dianne said hoping she had explained it okay for her to understand.

"So my daddy isn't here because he didn't want me?" Lillie asked feeling tears prick her eyes.

"Sadly yes, he wasn't ready either he was young and wasn't in the right frame of mind so left but you have joey now don't you" Lillie nodded slowly trying to hold back tears so she didn't cry.

"Di, we gonna get going, I'll see you later when you come home and little will see you in the morning" Joe said sensing Lillie hadn't taken what her mum said well and wanted to get off the call to try and calm her.

"Yeah see you soon guys, love you" Dianne blew a kiss into the camera.

"Love you too"

As soon as Joe hung up the phone Lillie began to sob the tears that had been wanting to come out finally escaping, and Joe instantly went into protective dad mode, wrapping his arms around her, letting his little girl cry into his arms, it hurt him seeing her like this. He wanted his bouncy 4 year old Lillie back but right now she was gone and the most he could do was be there as a comforting parent to her.

"Joey, he didn't want me" Lillie sobbed into him, Joe's arms tightening around her feeling like he had to protect her from anything and everything.

"He didn't not want you baby anyone who didn't would be stupid to not want a little girl like you"

"But mummy said he didn't want me, and if he didn't maybe she didn't eiver" Lillie sobbed more as the thought of her mum not wanting her entering her mind.

"Of course mummy wants you, if she hadn't wanted you, you wouldn't be here would you?"

"I suppose, do you want me?"

"Lillie just look at me for a second" She lifted her head up to look at him directly her eyes still filled with tears. "You are wanted okay. He was just stupid not wanting a gorgeous girl like you, and he isn't here is he? Your safe with me and mummy and we want you and love you more than you can ever imagine" he said kissing her head.

"I wuv you joey, and you are my daddy even vough I might not say daddy yet, but you are because you want me and you wuv me and mummy, and by the way I've never seen mummy smile so much as when she's wiv you" she said a small smile creeping up onto her face. Joe now having tears forming. "No no joey, I didn't wanna make you cry"

"These are happy tears baby I'm happy you see me as your daddy, and I love you too, now let's get some tea made hey it's been an emotional couple of hours" Lillie nodded getting off his lap.

"Race you to the kitchen" she giggled running off infront of him beating him to the kitchen by a mile. "Your slow joey"

"Hey that's not nice" Joe pouted at her.

"But it's twue, dats why mummy gets annoyed at you on in the pan becwause your slow"

"Alright missy I get the message!" Joe chuckled grabbing her waist and placing her onto the counter. "Now what do you want for tea?"

A/N I weirdly liked writing this chapter idk why, also felt like I needed a chapter with Dianne explaining the dad situation to Lillie so I did it. Hope you enjoyed it, Bella xx