Agape

Listen Layla

Chapter 14

Declan:

Eighteen, one day older, big deal.

I hate my birthday, despite having one day that's all yours, supposedly a special day, it was never a day I would call special. Actually maybe the exact opposite. Technically it wasn't all mine considering Hayes and I were born the same day. Brothers by blood, fraternal twins, but enemies by choice.

To Julian, birthdays represented something different. They were like levels to him, each year you reached a new level and when you reached the next level, you had to prove your worth, your capability. So every year on my birthday, Julian would make it one to remember, never once did he not have something planned. He would never forget his sons 'special' day.

When I was five my father taught both Hayes and me how to shoot a BB gun, cool right? That's not even the best part, he liked thorough instructions, actual demonstrations. After teaching us to load it and change the safety. He had me stand in front of this big tree.

I was five and clueless, excited because he was going to teach me the fun part, how to aim, and shoot a target. I thought wow, this is the best birthday ever. He lifted the gun and started explaining how to hold it, where to look, and how to stand. To me, I thought he was bonding, trying to connect with his sons.

I can still remember just how exhilarating it was, so exciting right up until the moment he pointed the BB gun at me. Then it wasn't as cool as I thought it was.

"Did you get all that boys?" He asked.

Me and Hayes nod our heads eagerly, I can't believe he is actually teaching us how to shoot. Dad smiles down at us, he seems proud and I can't help but feel happy, he's proud of me. For once he's not yelling, he's not mad at me.

Maybe today I won't be put in time out, I hate the closet, it's so dark and scary. Sometimes I think the monsters will get me and eat me up. Then I cry and dad makes me stay in longer when I cry, he says it's not manly. My mom cries sometimes and it makes me feel sad, maybe that's why dad doesn't like me crying because he gets sad.

I stood straight up like a good boy with my arms and legs spread out against the tree as dad told me. I tried to hold in my smile but couldn't because dad was smiling. He was happy with me and that was a really good feeling.

Hayes studied dad just like me, we wanted to do everything right so we didn't make him mad. I didn't like it when dad was mad, he gets really angry when Hayes and I do something wrong. His spankings are really hard and when he yells it always makes me afraid.

My eyes stayed on dad as he demonstrated how to hold your arms, he lifted the gun and pointed it my way. He's only showing us, there's no reason for me to be nervous, I told myself. But I was still nervous, not being able to help it.

"D-Dad?" I stutter.

His eyes narrowed at my 'imperfection'. "What did I tell you about fucking stuttering, it makes you sound like a weak bitch." He hisses.

I glance down ashamed. "I'm sorry."

"Look at me boy," He growls. "I'm not finished with my lesson, this is the most crucial part."

Instantly I look back up, my worried eyes on him.

He smiles, arms straight out, gun aimed at me. "You look real close, studying your target, aiming the best you can for the bullseye." His eyes watch me with an intensity that scares me, he leans in real close then closes his left eye. "Then you pull the trigger."