Liar liar

Monsters on the mind

Pearl licked her chapped lips, running her tongue warily over the split. The irony taste layered her mouth, making her nauseous and light headed. Her muscles felt stiff, they smarted when she attempted to stretch her legs. The pain gnawed at her, throbbing and pounding in time with her pulse. It left her panting, mind giddy from gulping too much air at once. Her body screamed at her to sleep but she couldn't, her thoughts and anxiety consumed her.

Steven had fistfuls of Garnets hoodie. His round face was red, tear tracks stained his skin making it seem blotchy and discoloured in the dusk. Thick curls crept closer, his face lost in the fabrics folds. Oh, she just realised she had forgotten to remove it. Maybe it was better that way, she didn't really want Steven to see the thrashing she had endured. His head twisted, mouth moving in his sleep. Tears bubbled down his ruddy cheeks. She tousled his hair, running her fingers through the messy strands. He shrieked, bolting upright. Large eyes scanned over Pearls face. He abruptly embraced her.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

He didn't respond, instead choosing to wrap both his arms around her. Hands clasping at the small of her back.

"Was it scary?"

His tiny body heaved, his tears dampening her chest.

"I don't want you to die."

She let out a shaky breath.

"I'm not going anywhere sweetheart. We're okay."

"I don't want Mom to find us."

She hadn't considered that. That Rose might figure out they ran away. That she would come looking for them. The idea of not going back home was strange. The house they had worked so hard for, that they had decorated and lived in for years, would no longer be their home. They would have to find a new one. To begin again sounded so tedious. Pearl wasn't even sure she could do it all on her own. She was already starting to unravel as it was. 

"I'm not going to let her take you away from me."

"Why did Mom hurt you?"

Pearl looked away. Ashamed. She wanted to know the answer to that question herself. Why didn't she leave, why did she just let her use her like that. She couldn't keep saying she loved her as an excuse. But she did. It almost seemed like a mantra now. To make the abuse seem better. Make it go away. She loved her, she loved her, she loved her. Like the brawl of her heart. But, did Rose even love her back? Why would she beat her if she loved her? Was it because she was easy. Someone to overpower and control? Was that all she was? A doll to dress up and play with. Did she even see her as a real person? She certainly didn't feel like one. She felt empty and cold. 

Who was she now without her?

"I don't know."

His small hands cupped her face as she trembled. She let out a broken laugh. Steven shuddered at how miserable she sounded.

"My little knight, you always know what to do."

He giggled at that. Delighted that he did something right.

"Try and get some sleep alright, we can talk more tomorrow."

***

Everything was pink.

 Rose towered over her, large hands wrapping around her mouth and nose. She couldn't breathe. All her words were trapped in those palms. Choking her. No chance of escaping or spilling out. They got tighter and tighter, squeezing her with an ungodly strength. She felt as though her eyes would burst out of her skull. She scratched and kicked, trying with all her might to force air into her lungs. The maniacal laughter falling from those sweet lips made Pearls blood run cold. Her chest spluttered. No, this wasn't right. This wasn't the woman she loved. Rose would never...