Mind Games

09-The Fair Lady (Pt.3)

|Washington D.C|

*Psychologist office*

"Let's go there again. You haven't been able to sleep for 3 days since the last session. Is that right?"
"Well, it's not like I'm not sleeping at all.... it's just...I sleep but it feels like I haven't. I got nightmares, sometimes a panic attack."
"It came from the same guilt that you feel for Franz. Is that right?"
"I think so....and maybe a little bit of something else."
"And what is it?"
"Tony."
"What about agent DiNozzo that bother you?"
"I don't know. It's like I was afraid to see him. Maybe it's because of what Franz told me.... about him being..... interested in me."
"Have you ever considered to maybe...clear this things out with him? Get the facts?"
"I did. But that's what's scary right? The truth."
"Which truths? The fact that he might be interested in you or the fact that he might be not?" When Dr. Rai said that, Allison got even more confused, "That's the thing.... I don't know. And the fact that I don't know what I expect, scares me the most. I don't make any sense, do I?"
"Well Ms. Grant, that's totally understandable."
"Huh, really? I used to play so many mind games, how on earth I got so confused about this one?"
"Maybe because this isn't a game. Don't you think?"

She gets up from a chair, trying to play with a rubic cube on Dr. Rai's table. "I'm not so sure about that doc. In my experience, it's always a mind game."
"Sometimes it's not about strategy and puzzles, Ms. Grant. It's about feelings. And you have them. The fact that you're capable of feeling guilty, remorse, about Franz, indicates that you're capable for another form of feelings."
"I'm good at my job because I read people doc. Feelings are weakness."
"No, you're good at your job because you can identify human behaviors. Including feelings. Which is sometimes you tried so hard to conceal."
"I need to. If I want to get back to work. Right now I can't face him. Not when these....what you called feelings are still all over my face."

*The D.C. Office*

"Tony you're okay?" He seems like keep staring at Allison's empty space. "I'm fine....she hasn't showed up for work like.....for 2 weeks now."
"Tony, she's been kidnapped by a fake boyfriend."
"Not boyfriend, it's just one date...well maybe two."
"Whatever, she was also at gunpoint, and then seing Franz being shot."
"He's a bad guy."
"I know. But you know she doesn't think he is. That's why she didn't kill him in the mission. Come on, something else bothered you. Is it the part where Franz said that he told her your secret?"
"Yeah....Maybe she doesn't show up because of that..."
"Tony, what secret did you have that possibly preventing her from going back to work?"
"I don't know.... that's why I'm getting worry....." He thinks for awhile and then becomes more anxious, "....no....that could not be..."
"What? What is it?"
"McGee, you said that he got her under surveillance for years?"
"Who? Franz?"
"Yeah."
"He was. I told you and Gibbs that he got people that put their eyes on her before he got out of prison."
"No..... that's bad....."
"What is it?"
"Nothing."
"Tony... Tell me what it is."
"I can't. God... If he told her that.... I can't even face her."
"Is it very embarrassing?"
"Well yeah McGee! It is!" He's biting his soda straw and thinking about the possibility of her knowing about what he thinks she knows.

*Psychologist office*

"How do you think agent DiNozzo thought when he stood in front of your door but didn't knock at it?" Allison takes a deep breath, "Maybe he's scared."
"Why?"
"Because he knows I'm brain dead? I don't know doc. Could be about work."
"Maybe.... Or maybe you have to consider the fact that he wants to talk to you, he needs someone to talk. Maybe it's not about you after all, it's about him. Maybe at that time he needs you to be a listener."
"It's a lot of maybes doc."
"Exactly. So why are you so scared about the possibility that he has a romantic attraction to you? It's just another maybe. You don't know for sure unless you two talk about it."
"I don't think I will. It's too...."
"Horrific, because it's new to you. Your dynamic with your old partner.... Richard is merely friendly attraction, even though you said to me that sometimes you fantasized him. But you never afraid to face him."
"It's different, he's married and I know he's a good man. Too good to cheated on his wife."
"Right, exactly. It's different with agent DiNozzo. Why, because with Richard you two are extremely open. With Anthony, there is this.... cloudy relationship and you don't know what to do with it. That's why you need to find your place in that. The uncertainty scares you. You're craving for control. Something that you can be sure about. That's not happening with agent DiNozzo. Am I right?"
"Yes. He's sort of....in my grey area. I don't know what to do with it."
"Back to what I said. Maybe he just need someone to talk with. Who knows?"
"Right..." She smiles and get her coat, "...thanks doc. I umm....I better get to work, or I'll totally lose my mind if I keep thinking about these stuff."