Soulmates - k.yc • p.jh

•iv•

I only had one friend. He was a place I could run to. Sometimes, especially after a hospital visit, my father let me go see him. As long as I lied to him about why I went. "Junhee, why are you doing this to yourself?" And as long as I lied, it had to be my doing. It was believable, I would talk about how suicidal I was anyway. "Everything is going to get better," he sighed.

I shook my head. "No, it won't. My soulmate is never going to find me, there's literally no hope, Donghun." I wanted to tell him why there was no hope. But what if my dad sent me back to Incheon?

Donghun sighed. "You have to tell me what's wrong, because you're my best friend and I can tell every single time you lie. And you've been lying to me for months." The fact that he could tell broke me down. My tears were instantaneous, quickly followed by his hug.

How do you tell your best friend that your dad and his brother are sexually abusive? That your dad literally hates you so much that he stabs you in the stomach? How do you tell them any of that fucked up shit? "I'll end up as a Deviant if I tell you. And you'll think I'm dirty. You'll think I'm gross. I know I do."

Donghun shook his head. "Never. I wouldn't think any less of you. And... I know Officials. If there's a way I can get you around it, I can. You won't become a Deviant." He was kind, but he didn't understand. I needed Channie to save me.

I sighed a little bit. "When I get in trouble with school, I get punished." That's as much as I was willing to tell him.

"Okay?" He asked confusedly, probably considering the fact that everyone gets reprimanded for bad grades. "Punished how?"

Time to change the subject. "Have you found your soulmate?" I asked softly.

Donghun really didn't want to move on, I could tell. But he needed to. "Yeah... she's honestly the sweetest thing ever. Hana." I smiled a bit, happy to see him beam with joy. "Sometimes I call her One."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why One?" The way this man started blushing, you'd swear he just told you he never stopped wetting the bed until last week.

"Because," Donghun started, groaning at his own cheesiness. "Her name is Hana. And she's my One and Only." He screamed out before covering his face with his pillow.

I pushed my lip out to cutely pout at him. "Awww, that's just adorable! Dongie's really in love!"

He threw his pillow at me. "Stop it!" He whined. "Are you any closer to finding yours?" Donghun said, picking up his phone. We were keeping a tab on al my hints. "All you know is that he seems to be a loner, except for maybe a friend or two? He doesn't drive. Did you say high school student?" I nodded, trying to recall anymore tips.

"When I was getting my wound taken care of, I was in room 503, he was looking for me but the nurse wouldn't confirm or deny that I was there." Donghun nodded, typing it out. "I kept saying my name, repeatedly, to myself. Hoping that his visions would kick in and hear me. Hear my name. I heard his friend's name I think? I can't remember. His friend is a Kim. I don't remember hearing his name. My dad woke up and scared me. So I definitely don't remember."

Donghun seemed to be as disappointed as I was. "Can you remember any part of the friend's first name? Kim who?" I shrugged, starting to feel really defeated about this whole situation.

In fact, becoming a Deviant didn't seem too bad at this point. Surely, they live better than I do at the moment. "Kim... Seh-something?" Donghun nodded, filing it away. I checked the time and practically jumped out of my seat. "Shit, I have to go. Uhm... I'll text you maybe?" I ran out, or rather fast walked, before he could stop me.

My dad was going to kill me. When I opened the front door, I expected to be pushed into the nearest wall. That didn't happen. "Junhee?" My dad asked from the kitchen. I made my way there slowly.

"Yeah, Dad?" I was more afraid of a quiet dad than my usually loud one. When I got to the kitchen, I saw him slumped over the counter. I was gonna become a Deviant anyway, wasn't I? He was high off his ass, probably close to having a heart attack. Either I would've been a Deviant by drug abuser association... or by letting that bitch lay there and die. I looked around for all the information I could tell the paramedics as I called. He wasn't gonna drag me down in his death too.

He groaned, falling to the floor. A needle was sitting in front of him. Heroin? There was an open bottle of alcohol sitting to his left. The woman on the line heard all of it. "Check his breathing. Is he still breathing?"

I shakily checked his pulse. "No, he's not. He's been like this for so long though, I don't know if he'll bounce back from this one." She told me paramedics were on their way. I just had to keep him on his side, just in case he had a seizure. Was it bad to admit that I kind of wanted him to die? Or was it bad to admit that I kind of wanted them to safe his miserable life?

To be honest, I didn't know what would've happened if he died. I don't know if I'd stay here, where I could easily find my soulmate and finally get away, or if his brother had power of attorney over me. And if he did, would I stay here or would I move away to Incheon? "You can step back now, son." The medic took me out of my thoughts. "And uhm, let's get some Officials out here?" Fuck. Fuck, they were really going to talk about my status.

I went upstairs to my room, calling Donghun. "Jun? What's going on?" I never called him. I always texted him. In the solitaire of my room, I broke down into tears. "Buddy, talk to me."

I sniffled, gathering myself long enough to choke out a few sentences. "My dad is dying, I think. He gets high a lot and I think he shot up and drank and like he's dying now. I think he overdosed but that's not why I'm upset." I could heard Donghun fall silent. How could this be the thing that doesn't make you upset? "He abuses me, when I get into trouble. I don't stab myself, I don't break my own arms or shatter my own kneecap? I don't burn myself. And I definitely don't fuck myself." Silent judgement was all I felt. But I kept talking. "Him and his brother are monsters, Donghun. There's Officials coming to assess everything and they'll probably make me a Deviant for this. Or they'll send me to be with my uncle in Incheon. Unless I can prove that I can be by myself? Which my father has never let me even try? I don't have my soulmate to move in with. I am fucked!" There were a few beats of silence before the line clicked, my phone beeping and letting me know the call ended.

My jaw, my phone, my heart, and all my hope dropped. "I knew he would think I was disgusting. I'm fucked." I mumbled to myself. "Let's cut a deal, if I say my soulmate's name, can I get some sort of definitive answer? If I say it correctly?" I didn't know who was listening... or if anyone was. "His name is Yuchan, Chan? Right?" I waited for a second, closing my eyes. I heard that sometimes, especially when you're in danger and you haven't found your soulmate, saying their name can trigger them. And it can give you colored sight, but muted, if you're correct.

I opened my eyes and gasped softly. My black bedsheets were a dark blue. My grey closet door was a brown. My desk was a light mahogany color. As quickly as it came, it was going away. "Fuck okay, Yuchan. If you can hear me, go back to the hospital. I'll be outside of the ICU wing. There's a fountain in the middle atrium, meet me there. I hope your visions come to me when you're there. I hope you hear this. I need you, Channie. Junhee needs you." I blinked a few more times and the color had faded back to black and white. I hope his vision flashed red. Because I am indeed in danger. Especially in danger of losing him before we've even begun.