B.O.A.T - Brownest of All Time

Chapter 29

I write the following on the board and say, "I'm done. There might be more, but for now, this would do."

Things I hate about myself
1. Brown-skinned
2. Fat
3. Poor
4. Jobless
5. Failed to submit my assignment
6. No special skills or talents
7. Bad influence on my niblings
8. Introvert
9. Woman
10. Born in a developing country

Amer says with a smile, "Nice. Now out of these, circle the ones that you could change." I shrug and say, "None. I was born with it and will die with it. Nothing is going to change."

"Oh come on, don't reply for argument's sake. You are smarter than that. Think well and do it. Give me reasons as you do it" says Amer. Okay, he called me smart. I shouldn't disappoint him now.

"Well, let me think,
One, my skin color has always been this. I've tried for years to change it but it just wouldn't. So, I'm leaving that out.

Two, my size, if I work out and follow a diet, I guess I could change it — circling it.

Three, I was born into a middle-class family and for twenty-five years of my life, it hasn't got any better. But this book that I am reading now says that I could change my financial position if I try hard enough — so circling it too. Though honestly I don't believe I could do it.

Four, resigning my job was completely my decision, so yeah I take the blame and it definitely can be changed with a new job — circling it.

Five, failing to do the assignment was entirely my fault. I could always take another six months of classes and change it — circling it.

Six, I truly don't know whether I have any special skills, but one thing I know is that I am pretty good at anything I set my heart on — so reluctantly circling it.

Seven, I can definitely change the way I behave and become a good influence — circling it.

Eight, I don't know, I try so hard to speak but my communication skills are equivalent to a rotten fruit. I wish I could speak like you, but this feels like it cannot be changed — I'll leave this one out.

Number 9 and 10, I honestly wrote it just to add extra points. But I do feel it has a part to play in my insecurities. I mean, as a woman there are a lot of restrictions and specific expectations off you, unlike for a man. I can't change my gender or country but I can maybe break the norms of the society if I really really really tried hard enough — so semi-circle around this one.
That's it. Six and a half circles out of ten. Not bad, eh?" I ask with a smile.

"Not bad at all" says Amer smiling. And continues to speak, "Now, tell me, based on what you have marked, do you realize that you are more in control of situations than you thought you are?" I think for sometime and say, "I guess so. But what about those things that I can't change at all?"

"Things that you can't change are part of your identity. For some reason, you have been given those and I feel you shouldn't try to change it, no matter what. Of course you will have your fair share of reasons as to why you hate them, but think on it. Maybe it's not that bad after all. However, it's upto you to make the best out of your identity, coupling it with what you could change. Play with the given — that's what you are supposed to do. That's what I do" says Amer with a smile.

"Play With The Given" I repeat. Sounds like the title of a book. Like a beautiful mantra, but would it really work? I mean, maybe it works for him but we are not the same, are we? Even though, we share the same skin tone, he looks like he was born into a rich family and he is talented. He's not a zero like me.