Introverted Ilhaam is a hopeless romantic waiting for her own love story, but somehow has come to believe that no man will ever truly love her because of one feature that she is very insecure about - being BROWN-SKINNED.
Will Ilhaam meet the man of...
Tanisha's divorce story has really started to haunt me. After hearing that, I feel like I will never be ready for marriage. I know I shouldn't be overthinking it so much. But I'm afraid. My mind has already started imagining scenes of Zayan divorcing me one day. I have even thought of the dialogues that I might tell him and my family during our separation at the courts. I know it's absolutely crazy and I'm being too dramatic, but it's hard to stop feeling this way.
I am not even able to text Zayan normally after yesterday. It all seems fake. I mean, I feel bad about showing anger on him for no reason at all. He is an absolute sweetheart and he shouldn't be going through crap like this. He deserves to be treated right. But unfortunately he made the wrong choice in selecting me, I guess. And that is why he had to suffer before I even said 'yes' to him. Poor guy!
I expected him to stop messaging me after those unnecessary explosive texts. But even after all that, he is still trying to be nice to me as much as possible. He keeps dropping texts every now and then just to check on me. Just the usual friendly ones though. Nothing personal.
I mean, since then, he hasn't asked me anything about the survey results. After witnessing my psychotic behavior, he is not interested in me anymore, I guess. Of course, he texted me 'I love you' soon after I apologized but I'm sure that was something he said just for the moment. He definitely hates me now. Totally understandable too. Perhaps I have lost my chance with him already. And do I feel sad about it? Definitely yes.
But in a way, I think it's for the greater good. At least now, I don't have to worry about what response I could give him. And maybe this is why I didn't even have any nightmare last night. So, I guess our love story has ended even before it started. But it's okay. I will be fine.
The only thing is that I'm so embarrassed by what I did yesterday that I really want to stay away from Zayan from now on. I just wish I could go and hide somewhere for sometime and never meet him again until I forget this completely. But unfortunately, I have to visit the cafe today as there's an influencer coming in.
Since I feel so reluctant to meet Zayan, at first I thought of lying to him about my health and ditching it. But then again I decided that I should go, because the thing with some of these influencers is that, when the right guidance is not given, they mess up the review. And if I don't go there today for personal reasons, it would be a disgrace to my professionalism. So, that's why I'm on my way to Second Chance now. I hope all goes well.
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I walk into the cafe and find Zayan and the influencer talking to each other. They seem to be enjoying each other's company. Both of them are all smiles. For some weird reason, I feel upset. I mean, they both look so great together. You know one of those picture-perfect couples that people often talk about. Perhaps she is his match. Not me.
Anyway, why do I have to worry about it, right? If they both like each other, they can go ahead and do whatever they want. It's none of my business. Just because he confessed his love to me, I'm not his girlfriend or wife. He is still just a client and my job is to facilitate the reviewing process and make sure Second Chance gets the right exposure on social media. That's all! I shouldn't be unnecessarily bothered about anything else. "Just know your place, Ilhaam" I tell myself as I walk towards them.
