Chapter 14 "Therapy"

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Day after another day and then another day had passed. Beautiful sunrises and sunsets with distinct attributes had departed and multiple rainy days had taken place, that for others is a curse but for me was a blessing. My relationship with Cizar continued but continued as his friend maybe his best-friend but for me there was something more, he is someone special to me. We continued doing the usual thing that we have been doing together before; eating together, going to the city plaza together buying things and foods, star gazing together, him hanging out in my room- sometimes sleeping, us taking photographs when we have time, his absurd requests that I couldn't resist. And him not knowing that behind it; I valued each and every movement of the longest arm in the clock that I spent with him, that I am hiding my feelings under his handsome and stunning shadows.

Our situation reminded me yet again of my ultimate high school crush. But the difference is; I lost the boy when I entered college before, he went to a different university and heard no more news about him. I have no idea what happened to him, if he became a varsity heartthrob in his current school or if he studied engineering or medicine. I wanted to think that destiny is so cruel to me because he is now repeating my past again. But no! I won't lose Cizar; I won't let history repeat itself to me. I planned to hold on to Cizar and will value and record every moment I will spend with him in the future.

I will reward myself a sense of freedom, I will turn my torment to optimism expressing myself the way I wanted not having the need to please everyone. I went for a weekend vacation to my hometown to get some fresh air, real fresh air and a breath taking landscape scenery. I rode in a van that can accommodate fifteen people but we were only nine inside the van including the driver, the fare collector is beside the driver, the seats behind the driver is occupied by a middle aged couple and I was seated on their back with an old woman and a little boy maybe his grandson, behind us are an empty seats and on the last line are two another student like me maybe from another university in the city.

The little boy beside me is very playful that sometimes his grandma would scold him for disturbing the other passengers, the little boy then seat politely but after barely ten minutes he's back again playing. Her grandma would again threaten him to leave him on the curvy, scary and crooked road if he doesn't stop on being stubborn, and so the boy face would shift to a serious expression curling on her grandmother's lap trying to sleep from time to time. When I took my vintage camera to take some photographs of the breathtaking landscapes, the little boy became very curious wanting to ask me something but he's a little shy.

"Do you want to try it?" I asked the cute boy, but her grandma tapped him lovingly saying to me,

"It's ok! Don't mind him" she smiled.

"Don't worry Lola; I wanted to show this lovely baby boy what's inside this." She nodded. I then let the boy looked at the camera. And then he said excitedly,

"Wow! Look Lola, it's amazing! I can see the view inside this thing." Her Lola began laughing at him and the rest of the passengers also began smiling, pleased by the kid's innocence.

While conversing with the kid, the old woman was then amazed by me because I can speak their native language fluently even though it's not my mother tongue, maybe I looked for her as someone who can't speak their native dialect. I then explained to her that I was originally from the town, that I can speak the five different native dialects all around namely; Isneg, Ilocano, Kalinga, Igorot and Malaueg- that I studied it when I was in middle school because I went to three different high schools, I told her shyly, but then she was more astound, even the other passengers. And that I just went to the city to study and I'm just taking a two days' vacation. I was so pleased by the little boy and began to reminisce my time as a child, I was like him too, innocent about the world and easily being amazed by new things/gadgets.

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