Chapter 24 "Separation"

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Staying home after graduation really bored me to death, that’s why I was bouncing back to the city from time to time, fixing my papers and finalizing everything at school. Mama eventually went back abroad so things also went back to normal; all of us in the family became busy with our own lives. Sometimes I am heading to the city to meet with my friends, chat over coffee, window-shopping and sometimes partying. But my most important purpose was to meet up with Cizar, eating out, watching movies, buying anything with him and staying together doing random things haphazardly. Such as going for a run in the morning, cooking pasta and ramyeon and sometimes we do clubbing at night. I could feel that he was a bit distracted from his studies because of me, because I was taking too much of his attention.

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon on the third week of July, but the glorious day with a heavenly weather suddenly became gloomy. The vivid blue sky with a gentle sunshine turned to a colorless sky with threatening clouds. I and Cizar planned to meet at the church for the five p.m. mass; I arrived earlier at the church as usual, waiting for him in front, sitting on the row of benches that were purposedly designed in case the pews inside the church are full. I was studying the great historical building standing before me, built during the Spanish era, the massive red bricks used in all corners of the church with so much precision and details. I was checking the time on my phone when someone suddenly called my name, “Lheam?” I tilted my head to my right and then I saw a very familiar face. It was my childhood best friend, Mira; she is also studying nursing in the city but in different school from me. She had also just graduated and has been living with her seaman boyfriend for a year now or so, who was with her.
“Oh my God Lheam, you're also here! It has been so long now when we last saw each other.” She said excitedly hugging me.
“Yeah right Mira, it’s almost a year. How are you now?” I asked her smiling and also nodding at her boyfriend.
“Still the same, how about you? How are you!?” she exclaimed, still holding my hands tightly. She was hilding me until someone tapped my left arm softly causing me to glance on my side, it was Cizar, still hands on my arm, pressing his lips together in firm line, sending me signal. I nodded at him. And then Mira asked me releasing her grasp on my hands,
“Best? Who is he…?” with a quizzical smile, "Your Boy…f…?” I snapped her,
“Cizar, he is Cizar, my best… friend…” and looking at Mira, “She is Mira, my childhood best friend back at our hometown, and he is Rain, her boyfriend…” I introduced them, but Cizar was now swallowing hard- lowering his head, letting go of my arm, and Mira was looking at me, with her red lips pressed together- eyebrow raised.
“Hi Cizar.” She said smiling and Cizar just nodded, “Best, the mass is now about to start, let’s go inside…” Mira said, motioning us to enter the church.
“Yeah, let’s go.” I finally sighed.

We sat on the pew at the center aisle awkwardly, Cizar on my left and on my right side were Mira and Rain. We we’re listening to the homily intently but Cizar was kind a upset with me, and I have no clue why. I was brushing my knees with his and rubbing my elbow on his, but he was still sulky. I could tell that Mira was sensing something, that’s why when I suggested that we should have our dinner when the mass ended, she shyly excused them saying that they have something urgent to do, hugging me one more time, we parted ways.

A fine drizzle was already pouring when we walked out the church, but I still managed to convince Cizar to have our supper outside. He was not in the mood but when I told him that I have something important to tell him, he finally caved in. We ate at Max’s Restaurant on the ground floor of a hotel near my place because it is more private. He was earnestly waiting for the thing that I was going to tell him while the rain was spitting on the glass wall beside us. Our orders was brought by a good-looking gentleman on a black and white uniform, greeting us politely and wishing us a great dinner. But I could tell that he was already tired behind his handsome smile and has been saying what he told us for multiple times already. We were eating when I asked him,
“Are you good Cizar?” he nodded,” you’ve been quite the entire time, what is it?”
“I’m fine.” He said.
“But you’re acting weird towards my best friend earlier, it’s not so you.” He digs on his food tensely,
“Yeah right, I didn’t know you have so many best friends, first was LJ and who was that? Miii…”
“Mira.” I said.
“Right, Mira, and when did I became your best…friend…? Huh?” he laughed sarcastically. Just then I realized what was upsetting him.
“Oh oww… Aren’t you?” I said snickering but he became even more serious,
“Best-friend? Best…Friend with benefits Lheam? Is that it?” I was taken aback. But you’re not my boyfriend, I thought.
“Cizar…..”
“You know what! Just tell me what were you talking about earlier.” Why now? I thought. Now that he was upset with me.
“I’ll just tell you some other time Cizar, Let’s enjoy eating for now.”
“Tell me now Lheam, say it! Tell me what you’ve been thinking.” he said calmly but demandingly.
“I was planning on working at Manila before my board exam next year.” He was not saying anything, just concentrating on slicing his food. “Ammm, I’ve been thinking about it for some time now.”
“And you never thought of informing me?”
“I was telling you now Cizar.”
“And when do you plan on going?”
“Next month, as soon as possible.”
“You’re unbelievable Lheam!”
“Cizar… Please…”
“Of course, if that’s what you want, I’m fine with it.” I never said anything anymore; after eating, we went to my apartment quietly.

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