My Boys (boyxboy, girlxboy)

Chapter Eighteen

Warning: sex ahead lol

pic of Jack --------->

Angels POV

Love is such a silly concept.

The whole idea of a one true love, a soulmate, is outrageous. It's safe to say I do not believe in it, and to think that someone like Cassie would,when she has everything going for her already, makes me sad.

Could I see myself in love? No. However I don't see myself alone forever. I imagine that I'll meet a girl someday and we'll be all passionate and full of enthusiasm for the first year. Then after a while we will slip into a quiet indifference.

Like roommates, you aren't exactly happy they are around all the time but sometimes they make you smile. We can go about our merry ways and I learn to exist around your existence. Is that not the whole plot line of marriage?

The difference between what roommates don't have that a wife does, responsibility. I don't need to ever be responsible for the happiness of another human. I have enough to worry about with my own self; I don't need the weight of making you feel good all the time. I'm not exactly a big guy; I can hardly carry my own weight at times.

"You're not scared of love because of its responsibility" Jack chuckled, pulling out of the driveway after picking me up.

"I never said anything about being scared of love" I scoffed

"Whatever, your 'indifference" is because of how permanent it is"

My face morphed into one of confusion. Permanence? What on earth did that have to do with anything? He had gone back to looking at the road, he didn't like driving with me at night so I knew he wanted peace and quiet.

Being left to my own thoughts though, had me thinking about Cassie again. I didn't seem to do much else for the last two days only think of her, sleep, eat and work.

She had thrown me threw a loop with this sex thing though. I openly expressed wanting her and she turned me down, that wasn't something I was used to be honest. Did she really want to have her first time be special? Or was she just saying this to deter me?

Well it hadn't. I wanted her of course, she's beautiful and intriguing as hell but this was a speed bump in my road to success. She's confusing as all hell; I mean what did she think sex would be? I hardly remembered my first time but it wasn't special or romantic that's for sure.

I was sleeping in the top bunk of the stupid orphanage and I think it was about 2am. I usually slept on the bottom bunk but the guy above me had been moved out after only a month, so I jumped at my chance. I would only have tonight and maybe tomorrow night, and I hated sleeping on the bottom.

I always had a problem with being confined, physically not emotionally; I'm not trying to be ironic about relationships. Claustrophobia, I looked it up, that's apparently what I had. At night my bottom bunk was a little like a coffin, I rarely got more than three hours sleep because I couldn't settle down.

Anyway so I had just fallen asleep when the door of our door screeched open. A couple of the boys groaned but just rolled over, not waking up. I heard a string of curses from a girl's voice and knew instantly she was drunk. My mind was foggy so I couldn't make out her face until she reached my level. She had stumbled up the ladder clumsily and rolled slowly onto the bed and under the covers.

She pressed her body to mine and messily took off her shirt, she wasn't wearing a bra. She rolled another inch which left her chest to chest with me.

"You're not Chester" she pouted

So that was his name.

"He moved out" I said kind of breathlessly, trying not to smell the bourbon she had smuggled