Reasons To Live✔

01

I stare at my phone, no notifications. I put my phone back down on my nightstand and walk over to my small wardobe. The clothes I usually wear to school hang down and I pull the off slowly. The birde are chirping outside for the morning and my parents are moving around downstairs, yet the silence is overwhelming.

I slide my pyjamas off and pull my plain black shirt on and tuck it into the ripped jeans I like. For a moment, I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes look empty and my dark brown hair is just falling into a mess right now. I hate it. I turn around and sit down on the edge of my bed, my legs kicking around and my hands covering my face.

I exhale and pick up my phone again.

One notification. Confused, I double tap it to see a text from Josh.

Josh
7:57AM
I'll see you in class today? Then we'll hangout after school at around 4:30. I'll pick you up?

Elyse
8:10AM
Yeah. Sounds great.

I shove my phone into my back pocket and walk downstairs, picking up my school bag on the way down.

"Morning, Elyse." My dad hums. I smile over at him and sit down at the dining table. My mum is frantically rushing around before she has to go to work and my dad is calmly eating his breakfast. I smile to myself at the contrast.

"Good morning, dad."

"Hungry?" He asks, pushing a plate towards me.

Quickly and without thinking I shake my head and pick up an apple. "I'm in a rush, I have a club or something." I laugh softly, leaning over to give my dad a kiss on the cheek.

"Enjoy class!" My mum shouts as I leave for the porch. I quickly put my earphones in and some random soft Ben Platt song plays quietly, almost inaudible as the cars glide past me on the road.

I walk slowly to school, wanting to savour my freedom before I'm stuck there for hours with people I don't like.
Eventually, I walk into the crowded building. People rush past me and push past me. It's like being in a sea of fish here. I walk to my locker, the only place where I'm not constantly being pushed.

"Hey." Josh whispers from next to me, he's staring at a locker that isn't his. Very weird.

"What are you doing?" I whisper back, organising my folders that I need for today as quick as I can.

"Hiding."

"Why?" I say, I don't look at him though as I continue to move and remove items from the messy locker.

"Because you're like you know and I'm well you know-"

"Yeah, I know." I interrupt him. I get what he means, school is highly reputation dependent and he was definitely near the top of the pyramid with his good looks and confidence where as I wasn't.

"It's not supposed to be mean. I just can't have my reputation lowered this close to the end of school. We finish in less than a month. You get it right, Elyse?" His voice is still soft and he occasionally glances over at me with those beautiful blue eyes.

"Yeah. I get it. I'll see you tonight." I say, closing my locker and walking off. I can feel my heart sinking.

I spend the day doodling, writing notes and eating lunch alone. Like everyday, the same thing I've done for the entirety of my education.

Afterwards, I walk home and sit on the brick wall outside my house and wait for Josh. It's a quiet road so hopefully he won't be as scared this time. I stare forward blankly at the trees opposite my house. They dance in the wind, leaves falling down onto the road; there's something comforting about it all. I look down at my phone screen, 4:40. Did he forget about me or just give up?

I sigh heavily, leaning my head back to stare at the clouds gliding across the sky.

Suddenly, I hear heavy footsteps charging down the road and towards me. Soon after, Josh is stood in front of me- breathing very heavily and red in the face.

"I'm sorry I'm late. I didn't forget about you, we made a deal and I'm here to live up to it. Soph was making a fuss. You ready to go?" He says, his chest heaving up and down.

I jump off the wall and nod, following his direction of walking.

"Soph?" I ask to break the silence.

"Sophie- my girlfriend. Sophie Shelters." He turns his head and smiles at me, I automatically smile back at him.

Sophie Shelters: the beautiful blonde, the envy of all. Every girl wants to be her and every guy wants to be with her. They do make the perfect couple.

"You two are cute together. How long have you been a thing?"

"5 months now." He laughs. "Wow, that long."

"Congratulations." I smile, a small smile, and he smiles back. "So where are we going?" I continue.

"The High Street." He says back, his hands shoved in his jean pockets.

We walk the rest of the way making small talk about education, really just getting to know each other on a basic level. Together we walk down the busiest road, hidden by the sea of the people. He walks me to the outskirts of the town and then looks at me.

"We're here!" He whistles, gesturing towards a small independent bakery.

"A bakery?" I ask.

He nods and gestures for me to stay there. Hesitantly, I nod and sit down on the lone chair outside. I hear the bell of him going in and coming out. Soon, he's stood in front of me with a small paper bag. He hands it to me and I look into it. Bread? The paper bag is warm against my hands and it does smell very good.

"Number one: the smell of freshly made bread."

--

Dedication: Hellion42 gave me some really good advice and gave the time to help me when I was feeling low. I'm really grateful for the help they gave me and all the support I got from them. I hope you know I'll always do the same for you. ♥️