The Not So Little Things • jww

16

• ITO KAHANE •

"Fill in the asked questions, you need to pass them after the semester break so don't lose them." The homeroom teacher announced as she went around the classroom to pass the papers.

Soonyoung fiddled in his seat in excitement as he anticipated for the teacher to give him his copy, meanwhile my heart beat paced quicker every step our homeroom teacher took. Biting my lower lip in attempt to cease the thumping in my chest. Until finally, the papers reached to me and I accepted it with cold hands. 

"Oh man, I can't wait to audition soon!" Soonyoung loudly said as he turned to me with a grin and squinted eyes.

I blinked twice to snap out of the forming panic attack I was about to have, then responding, "You'll be a great idol one day Soon."

"What about you, didn't you want to be an animator one day?"

I could only stare at my best friend's hopeful smile, the sudden feeling of nervousness and uneasiness collided and formed a very unpleasant feeling inside of me. I pursed my lips into a thin line before desperately trying to twitch its edges upward, successfully doing it in the end.

"Yeah, can't wait." I laughed, but I swear it sounded very awkward.

"Oh well, how about you big guy?" Soonyoung shrugged off my awful attempt to pretend and faced Wonwoo, who was also staring at the form with an unreadable expression.

"I'm undecided."

You see, this is the last day of the first semester and all the third years are given forms that contain questions about what they want to do with their life and so on. After a month off, they return those papers and they'd get counseling to help them decide.

I stared at both of them as the unforgettable feeling of sadness washed over me, bottling up all of these things was mentally draining and somehow taking a toll on my body. 

"Class dismissed." 

Before I could even blink, Soonyoung already stood up and turned to me with a hurried expression and grabbed my wrist. Not having the time to even squeak a small sound of shock, he pulled me away from my seat and ran away from the classroom first before anyone. 

While desperately trying to match his pace, I managed to pant out some airy words, "Slow down!"

He listened and slowed his pace, but we were still running. Until finally, he stopped when we laid a foot inside the gymnasium. Out of breath, I leaned on the wall and tried not to collapse. Soonyoung was a fast runner with a lot of stocked up stamina while I was the complete opposite, maybe I was anemic and I didn't know. 

"You dumb ass what the hell?" I managed to say after I regained my composure. 

He looked at me with his brows creased, not the usual look he would make but it somehow made me nervous. He sighed and massaged his temples in a stressful way before speaking, 

"You know you don't have enough time." 

I paused, "...what?"

"Hane, I knew about you leaving for Japan after graduation."

I just stood there, completely speechless. I thought I did a good job trying to hide it from both of them, but I should have known that Soonyoung would be quick. Regardless of his keen observation despite his natural happy aura, I was confused as to why he knew. 

Noticing the look on my face, he added, "That night you slept at my house."

"I followed you in the middle of the night."

"B-But, I thought you were asleep?" I aquestioned.

"I'm home alone mostly all the time, don't think I wouldn't wake up with the front door opening at 2 am." Soonyoung crossed his arms. 

I avoided his look by staring at my shoes, embarrassed to look up and meet his eyes. 

"You have to tell him."

"But-"

"Oh so what? Don't tell me you're going to make me tell him?"  

"I have a plan."

Although I said that I have an alternative, he didn't seem hopeful. Soonyoung looked at me, the frown still visible in his lips. I could tell he had enough of my lying and felt betrayed in Wonwoo's stead, if it was me even I would be hurt. 

But I can't tell him just yet, not when he was happy I was what he wanted me to be. 

"I'm working at Mingyu's, if I manage hard enough I can pay back my dad and convince him that I can stay and live here." 

"That's not going to work."

"At least he can see that I can manage myself and my mom, even if I can't pay him back everything, at least he can see that we are fine without him."

I held onto his hands and pleaded, "Please Soonyoung, trust me on this." 

He fell quiet, as he continued to be silent, the rummaging beat of my heart went faster. 

"I may be an omega, but I won't give up." 

"I want to create art while being with the people I love,"

Suddenly, he clicked his tongue and pulled me closer to him. He spread his arms wide and gently held me in his arms, I responded by circling my hands on his waist and closed my eyes. He held me tighter like I was going to disappear, away from him. Soonyoung loved me like I was his sister, I did too. 

"I just don't want you to get hurt." 

"We all get hurt at some point of our lives, I'll be okay." 

In silence, the two of us embraced each other. Inside the empty gym, where the only audience were the wooden benches and the bleachers. 

But somewhere in our hearts, I felt that there was something that was going to happen but we both didn't want to admit that out loud.