Bi The Way...

why i hate my brain

me: *writing*

my brain: so uh thats a new playlist you're listening to, huh?

me: yeah, what about it?

my brain: what if i just... give you a new book idea?

me: huh?

my brain: THATS A YES-

me: NONONO FUCK

my brain: you have a giant idea now bitch

me: i'm not gonna write it

my brain: yes you are

me: no

my brain: how about just like a lil outline

me: fine *writes the outline*

my brain: ...

me: happy?

my brain: no you're gonna write this whole thing

me: are you high? the fandom is dying-

my brain: that's the thing. you're gonna write all of it but you're gonna be so insecure that i'm never gonna let you publish it.

me: ...

my brain: so we're clear

~~

me: jesus girls are pretty

my brain: i know right? but you can't come out until you're independent from your family.

me: i know, i know

my brain 2 secs later: you better take a girl to prom

me: the FUCK

~~

me: can i get some seratonin? please?

my brain: haha no

me: dopamine?

my brain: absolutely not

me: whyyyy

~~

my brain: hey didn't someone say red lobster earlier?

me: huh?

my brain: say that reminds me, didn't you have some spicy ~trauma~ there?

me: nonono SERIOUSLY STOP IT

my brain: haha it's happening again >:)

~~

my brain: *gives me a random headache for no reason*

~~

my brain: but what if you're faking your attraction to girls for attention?

me: but i legitimately like girls??

my brain: what if you're actually straight?

me: i'm rarely attracted to guys??

my brain: but like-

me: shut up

~~

my brain: okay i know i've given you bad advice in the past, but seriously do NOT attack this classmate.

me: but she's homophobic-

my brain: you probably won't be in the same classes as her next year-

me: screw you *attacks her in dm's*

my brain: you're an idiot

me: i'm an idiot who won the argument

my brain: you didn't win!!

me: yes i did my friend said i did and i am
going to use this as my primary source of happiness for the rest of the week

~~~

anyways in conclusion my brain is a dumbass and so am i