It's Me, Again

Ch. 17 (Kate)

Tonight is the night that could change everything. As great as my conversation with Carter was yesterday, there's just something that keeps pulling me towards Dylan when I hear from him or see him. I don't know if that will change after we talk tonight.

With the weather warming up now that we're well into April, I can wear a cute dress tonight for dinner. If I go by everyone's warnings about the truth that is going to be revealed to me later on, then tonight may very well be the worst night of my life in recent memory. But, I can at least look cute during it.

I pick out a green floral maxi dress that hugs in all the right places and has a scoop neck. I pair it with a dark wash denim jacket to dress it down a little since the pub isn't exactly fine dining. I'm curling my dark brown hair into loose waves that will spill down to the middle of my back. I've got music playing in the background so I can sing and dance along as I do my hair and makeup. Benee's "Supalonely" comes on and I somehow know all the lyrics.

"I'm a sad girl, in this big world
It's a mad world
All of my friends know what's happened
You're a bad thing "

It's eerie how songs that reflect what I'm thinking always seem to play. I make a promise to myself to keep an open mind and not fly into a rage no matter how bad whatever Dylan has to tell me is. I'm preparing for the worst since he and Sarah seem so serious about it, but maybe it's not that bad. There's a chance that I won't think it's as bad as they do. Although, apparently when it happened in real time I walked away from Dylan for years so maybe it is that bad.

Regardless, whatever it is, I need to try to remain calm and hear him out. He's changed so much and he could've easily skipped all of this and not told me anything, but he wants me to know the truth. Even if it's something that made me hate him supposedly. If that doesn't show personal growth, I don't know what does.

I finish getting ready and show Sarah my outfit. I do a spin and pretend I'm a model posing with my hand on my hip.

"Okayyyy hottie, you look great!"

I pop my hip out and flip my hair over my shoulder before laughing, "Thanks. What are you doing tonight? Are you sure you don't want to come with us?"

"No thanks, I'm wiped from working this weekend and classes today. I need to just chill tonight," she says from the couch in her sweats and a bowl of popcorn in her lap.

"Okay, want me to bring you back any food?" I ask as I put my small wallet, keys, and lip gloss in my dark brown crossbody bag.

"Nah, I'm good. I've got dinner covered, thanks though," she pops more popcorn in her mouth.

"Well, Dylan should be here any minute so I'm going to head down to the lobby."

Sarah mutes the tv, "Are you ready for the discussion tonight?"

"As ready as I can be I guess." I sigh and lean my back against the kitchen island. I cross my arms and say, "I'm preparing for the worst since whenever the topic comes up you and Dylan give me a look like I should be ready for my world to get turned upside down."

"For what it's worth, I think he's changed a lot from the guy he was during that time. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to make it easy for him whenever I see him. But, I can tell he's a better person now so I guess you should hear him out. And trust me, I hated his guts for a while so if I think he's changed then he probably has."

"Yeah, I remember what he was like right around the time we broke up. Always partying and didn't care about anything else, least of all me. I can tell he's different. More like how he used to be before college started, but a grown up version," I chuckle. "We'll see."