It's Me, Again

Ch. 28 (Kate)

If you would've told me a few years ago that I would be cheating on my boyfriend I would've flat out said you were insane and not believed you for a second. Then again if you had told me that the person I would be cheating with was Dylan, I would've said you were even crazier since back then I thought we'd be together forever and no way would we be broken up.

But, I'm a cheater. Okay, I didn't sleep with Dylan, but I made out with him at a concert that was pretty much a date and Carter doesn't deserve that.

When Fall Out Boy finished singing, the radio dj closed out the concert. Dylan and I broke apart, physically, but I felt more connected to him than ever. My fingers stayed interlaced with his and we waited for some of the crowd to clear before we started walking.

As we started walking, two things happened simultaneously. My heart and love for Dylan kept growing and expanding with each step. My guilt and a pit in my stomach for what I had just done to Carter was also growing and expanding. I felt sick and I wasn't sure if it was from my excitement over what just happened or because I was the worst girlfriend ever. Maybe a mix of both.

"Let's get food when we get out of here. I'm starving." Dylan looked back at me as he walked just ahead of me navigating our way through the throngs of people, our hands still clasped together.

"Sounds good. I'm hungry too."

We walked among the crowds of people through the stadium and parking lot in silence as we tried to weave our way through. I might not have been talking, but the voice inside my head was freaking out. I was feeling all the emotions: excitement, happiness, anxiety, and an overwhelming guilt. That kiss sealed it for me. I have to break up with Carter. Dylan and I still have a long road ahead of us before I'm ready to trust him completely, but I know that if I can have these sorts of feelings for someone other than Carter then it's time to let him go.

I looked up at Dylan as we walked, wondering what was going through his mind. Did he regret kissing me or was he freaking out with excitement inside too? We hadn't kissed, to my knowledge, in almost 3 years and that first kiss sent me flying through memories of thousands of kisses over the years.

We spent the whole car ride excitedly talking about the concert and sharing all of our favorite (non-kiss) moments and songs. You would think after 3 hours of non-stop singing we would be tired of using our voices and our throats would be sore, but we spent the whole time in the car talking loudly about the show and singing to the songs on the radio. There wasn't a mention of our kissing, which I was thankful for because my mind was already in overdrive trying to process it all. Whenever I thought back to it, I started to feel like I was going to hyperventilate and I could hear Carter's voice in my head saying "Cheater....cheater....".

By the time we got to the 24 hour diner back in town it was after midnight and I was starving. Dylan held the door open for me and as soon as I walked in I could smell the aroma of delicious, greasy foods. The diner was about half full with 20 somethings getting food after their nights out.

The hostess sat us at a booth by the window and I didn't even need to look at the massive, 10 page menu. I knew exactly what I wanted - a hamburger and onion rings.

"You're not going to look at the menu?" Dylan asked me as I sat, looking out the window at all the people walking around at this hour.

"Nope. I already know what I want," I smiled a satisfied smile.

"Let me guess..." he steepled his hands and looked thoughtful for a second. "I know you're hungry. And thirsty," he eyed my half drunk water glass. "You want something greasy, because you're starving. I'm going to say...hamburger - no a cheeseburger - and....onion rings instead of fries."