It's Me, Again

Ch. 24 (Kate)

My two-day trip away to the Finger Lakes with Carter was good mainly for two reasons. The obvious being that I did have a nice time with him. The other, and bigger, reason being that I felt a shift in our relationship. While there's absolutely nothing wrong with Carter and there may come a day when I kick myself for letting him go, I am almost certain now that there's just something missing from our relationship. That special something that you can't quite put into words just isn't there. I'm not sure how to bring it up with him because the whole drive home he was beaming and I couldn't bring myself to break his heart on the road. Can you imagine? He's gushing about our time away together and then I say, "Yeah, it was an amazing time together. By the way, I think we should break up." That would be so heartless of me. Am I being a little bit of a coward? Definitely. But, still, I don't want to be heartless.

So I didn't say anything about what I was feeling and my realization to Carter. And by the time we got home, he had to pack to head back to London and I didn't want to break up with him and have him all upset on the plane ride home. This, of course, has led me to another problem because I also don't want to be the girl who breaks up with him over FaceTime.

"You're just going to end up staying with him forever, aren't you?" Sarah teases me.

"No! It's just never a good time," I weakly defend myself.

"It's never going to be a good time to break someone's heart."

She had a point.

"He's going to be back in a few weeks so I'll do it then."

"Will you though?" She raises an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced that I'd have the guts to go through with it.

I sit up a little straighter to exude confidence, even if I didn't feel very confident, "I will. I swear."

"Okay, if you say so."

"Anyway, I've got a wedding to work on at the hotel this weekend and we could use some extra help. It's a very large wedding so any help is welcome. Want to come with?"

"That would be so cool. Your boss won't mind that you're bringing a random friend?"

"Nah, she's cool and she knows we're going to be in over our heads this weekend. There are 500 guests coming to this wedding! Trust me, any help with organizing that day will be a god send."

"Okay, count me in. I can't wait to see you in wedding planning action," I smile thinking of her like Jennifer Lopez in "The Wedding Planner" with an earpiece giving instructions to photographers, florists, cueing music and more.

A minute later, I hear my phone and it's Dylan. I hadn't told him that I went away with Carter, but he must've seen my posts on social media and it made me feel awkward and uncomfortable. I know I had nothing to feel bad about, Carter is my boyfriend. For now at least. I have nothing to apologize for, but it just feels strange to talk to Dylan about going away with my boyfriend when we've got this weird relationship.

I take a breath and steady my nerves, "Hey."

"Hey, how's it going?"

"Pretty good. I'm just hanging out with Sarah. How are you?"

"Not bad. I've just been studying for finals."

"I'm glad I just need to submit my projects. No tests for me. I think I'd have a nervous breakdown if I had real exams given that my memory is still lacking."

Dylan chuckles, "Yeah that would definitely be stressful."

There's a beat of silence and I'm not sure if he was calling just to say hi or if there's something he wants to talk about.