Killed with Love

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

 Life has its own wicked ways of staggering you.

I didn't realize the minutes tick by as I drowned myself into the placidity of the quiet morning. The last night's memory was dancing at the back of my mind, creeping its way up at interludes, but I know I have to shut it out, bury it deep inside for a long long time and I know I can get past it. I always underestimated myself, but last night made me grasp my own hidden strengths. Not that I am proud of them.

As time passed by, I found myself drowsily drifting to the past. I still remember those teenage faces, laughing at me for being different. I remember the girls, whispering among each other whenever I passed by, their eyes never failed to make me squirm with weakness. The boys were worse, they took it as their right to call me names "Miss Quiet Slut", "She won't be any fun in the bed, "I bet she knows how to moan", they would laugh. Only because I wasn't like them, never went to those parties and never had the "impressive" fake life for social media. I never had the guts to fight back and yes, I always kept quiet. I would just go home by the end of the day and read a book to forget the reality that imprisoned me. My father had left my mother when I was just three and she blamed me for it. I never experienced love in my life until I found John, he came like a calm breeze in my life, a calm breeze who later turned into a storm, thinking about him caused a weird shiver run down my spine.

Away from the city grandeur John and I chose this quaint town 'Stowe' to settle in, with a population of merely 3000, the society is often peaceful, one can easily find familiar smiley faces in the morning. The town is surrounded by dense forest and hence the weather is pleasant throughout the year. I often go out for walks early in the morning with the sweet music of birds chirping and exploring the surroundings to my heart's content. Though I know all the routes of this town by heart now, I can never get over its charm. This town is a sweet drug for any lost person.

I could hear few kids playing and giggling outside my house gate. Listening to them chirping with life made me miss my own kids, my two beautiful daughters, Rose and Lila, both are like blooming buds in middle school. I could feel my heart warming up at the mere thought of my kids. That's the thing about motherhood, your kids become the center of your universe, you dream to be their hero, to keep them secure in your arms. The hard part is, they grow up too soon to fly away from the nest and you can't help but let them go. I wish I could hide my daughters from the real world, tuck them away. My throat started to get sore as I controlled my tears, I have to stay strong, I reminded myself. Some chores might help with the distraction I thought. As I was washing the dishes, I heard the phone ring. I already knew who it would be, I picked up the phone and sighed.

"Asshole! where the fuck are you?" She couldn't hide the concern in her voice. It was Jessica, the only friend I could make in my entire life. She owns a popular café called 'Aroma Mocha' just a few blocks away. I am supposed to spend my afternoons with her at the café, talking to her or helping her, she feels that would help me from losing my mind by staying at home all day long.

"I am on my way Jess". Saying that I hung up, I would admit that spending time with her kept me on track, made me feel connected to the outside world, she always radiated such strong energy, nothing could shackle Jessica, she was her own boss and that always powered me up. I knew she would be waiting for me impatiently so I quickly finished all the household chores, dressed up in a simple black t shirt and white pants and pulled up my hair to a pony. I tried not to look into the mirror for a long time, I knew that if I did, my own image in the mirror would break me down. I quickly grabbed the car keys and left for the café.

I was barely inside the door when she almost jumped on me and pulled me to a table at the corner. She made me take a seat and sat next to me, any third person would think we were two terrorists planning our next move.

"Did he call you?" she whispered.

It was our marriage anniversary; John and I have been married for almost 9 years, as I recalled our initial years, it pained as I couldn't figure out what led us to this place.

I fought back tears that were starting to come up.

"No, he hasn't, he wasn't home last night, the night before he had to stay for night shift" I said in a plain voice.

"He didn't tell u that he wouldn't be coming home last night??" I could tell she felt very bad for me.

"He often forgets to call, its fine really". I am a terrible liar.

"Come on Jenna! How can you be okay with all this? We both know how unhappy you have been in this marriage. He never talks to you properly, doesn't inform you anything? You are his wife for god sake. I am telling you, start working and live your fucking life!" she was hyperventilating.

I just nodded.

I could tell from Jess's expressions that she wanted to shake me to knock some sense into me, but after few seconds she gave up and asked me to help her with few customers.

It was 3 pm and almost time for the kids to return, so I left for home. I checked my phone and decided to call his office.

"Good evening, Ventraip corporations, how may I help you?" said the receptionist.

"Good evening, I am Mrs. Smith, may I talk to Mr. John Smith?"

"Mr. Smith hasn't been to the office today" she replied.

"Oh. Okay thank you" Saying so I hung up.

I was starting to get nervous; I went to the washroom to freshen up, there was a note lying next to the sink.

"Come to the warehouse on street-12 darling" the note read.

I immediately left in my car; I left the house keys under the door mat for the kids.

Street-12 was a deserted street, with no street lights in sight, there was a warehouse just few meters from the road inside the jungle. My husband's car was parked beside the warehouse.

I somehow stumbled out of my car; I was afraid that my legs might give up any minute. I took a deep breath and opened the heavy iron door of the warehouse...

I couldn't move an inch as I saw John, lying on the floor with his throat slit open... then I screamed.