Heiress in Distress

•Chapter 19: Part 2•

•Word Count: 2,355

Open up! A spoonful of drama coming up!

••••

What is it with me and these residual feelings of guilt and regret ?
Guilt for being the person to push Aurick into the hurricane of nostalgia and regret for my inability to keep my unwelcome comments to myself.

I wish I could take my words back but I know I can't.
I wish Aurick's wife never died.
I wish my parents never disappeared.
I wish I wasn't this stubborn to acknowledge their disappearance for what it really is.

Ironically, my wish list would easily create a measuring tape that stretches across the galaxy.
What is not ironic, however, is that my own galaxy comprises a system of tragedies, making distress adhesively cling to my life the way skin adheres to our flesh.

I hope -at least- since they caught on to the confusion I was feeling, they would notice the deep regret I'm currently feeling because I would hate to come out as callous.

"It's alright sweet child," Frau Marlene assures me.

No, it's not alright. I need to learn to be more perceptive and more so considerate.

I'm still wallowing in a gruesome blend of sympathy and remorse over Aurick's loss and his reliving it when the sound of distant footsteps growing heavier indicate someone's descending the stairs.

We all turn to see the figure that appears at the top of the last flight of stairs, but I can't afford to look at Aurick so I'm quick to shift my gaze.
The sound of leather being swished and moved suggests Aurick grabbing his coat, followed by the sound of his keys rattling, which is the loudest sound in the house, all thanks to the still silent living room.

"I'll be in the car," Aurick says, his voice carrying so much sorrow that it grates the ear, before the sound of the front door closing introduces a new episode of silence.

It's almost difficult to stand up from the couch with this amount of remorse weighing me down, and my feet almost drag over to Frau Marlene to take a now asleep Élise from between her arms before muttering a diverted "I'll see you later"

Opening the front door brings with it a whoosh of biting wind that makes me adjust Élise's blanket over my shoulder, before walking into it and towards Aurick's car.
Somehow, the closer I get to the car, the colder I get.

His abrupt change of demeanour brought by the love he held for a woman makes my heart ache for him.
What twists the knife of sympathy inside me is the fact that he's still wearing his wedding ring as if the partner wearing the matching ring isn't buried underneath the ground he walks on.

As soon as my door shuts, he starts the car and drives down the street, in a disturbingly silent ride.

Well, silent is how a third party would refer to it.
But for me, I can hear my conscience yelling at me, telling me I should have been more considerate, I shouldn't have mentioned his wedding ring.
That, since a wife hasn't been introduced into the picture nor has been mentioned, means she no longer exists.

Would it have killed you to keep your words to yourself?

Also, the air around Aurick ripples with waves of heartbreak, and that alone can cause deafness if it were a sound.

I can't help the guilt I feel, "I'm sorry,"

He sighs, "It's not your fault"

The frown his face sports compels me to retain the silence, despite his toneless yet softly spoken words. It's easier to sense than to describe what goes inside his head.