I have unfortunately had my share of suicidal thoughts and it was tough, I know it's tough because I still struggle with it everyday. But it gets better. No matter how impossible that might seem right now, you will get better. You will find better. As a person who has experienced sexual harrasment from my own parent, is a witness of domestic violence and a victim of self deprecation, I can say there will always be times when things will be hard. But those fights are what make every single victory worth it. And if you lose, keep trying. It gets tiring to do it everyday but I know you can do it.
Your life is worth it. You are worth it and never let anything make you feel otherwise. Nobody can ever be you. You are needed and important.
In fact, I actually had a date set. A lot of people don't know this, especially not people in my real life. I had plans set, I had goodbyes set. I had talked to a friend vaguely about it. What held me back was two things. One being that I read this on a Instagram post:
If you leave today, you don't only skip everything happening today, but you also miss everything that would be happening tomorrow. And tomorrow could easily be one of your better days. I wanted to know how a better day felt.
You would never know if you had the chance of getting better. I wanted to know how getting better, getting help felt.
Because everyone does do better in the end and if they don't, it's just not the end yet.
Don't give up on your dreams, on yourself. Find your thing that makes staying worth it for you. The world is amazing and I understand that's hard to see right now, but you'll get there.
- Love, Alisha
