I've been there. I was raped at age 11 by my best friend. I was unwanted by my dad and he made it very known to me that out of the 6 kids in my family, I wasn't one he wanted. I was verbally abused and blamed for everything in life. I remember attempting suicide every fucking day since age 11 till I was 25. I was dealing with depression and anxiety and suicidal thoughts for 14 years.
I was bullied in school for being too thin when I was really young and then went through anorexia, bulimia, and then binge eating and was bullied in high school for being too fat. I was there. I went through everything and some and hated that I was here. I've been dead longer than I've been alive, but I swear, life gets better. I've only been actually feeling for four years. I was dead and numb for 14 years. Writing poetry has literally saved my life. At 11, I could have started drinking and drugs, bc I had friends who did, but if I did that, I know I wouldn't be here today. I actually turned to poetry and yeah, my poetry was dark and impossible to look at, but it helped me.
I understand it's difficult. I know it sucks sometimes, but you matter. You are worth so much. When I finally realized that my heartbeat is there, I cried. I never understood why I was here. Why was I put on this Earth? I really thought I was a joke for God to laugh at.
I swear to you, things get better. I never physically self harmed, but my scars were definitely there. They weren't seen, but the internal scars I had destroyed me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
I understand at the moment that world is gloomy and the dark clouds won't go away, but you're not alone.
I'm 30 and it took me a long time to get here, but when people tell me you're the most positive person I know, I think to myself, this isn't something anyone would have told me when I was younger.
I'm always here to talk or listen.
- Love, Sky
