Be Gay, Do Crimes: Ros Vs Everything, Apparently

"be nice to chinhae or I'll punch your lights out"

Ros had always thought of her aunt as something of a fool.

Oh, she knew full well how clever and wicked and conniving Sophie was, how she'd defeated numerous rivals and just straight-up murdered others, but when she did things like this, it was incredibly hard to take her seriously.

Rosalind sighed and looked down at the two files she and Dominique were holding.

Dominique Broduer of Frostplains, 15. Non-binary. 6'0. White-blonde. Blue skin. Good complexion. Bad posture (slouches).

Legacy relative: The Snow Queen (Great-grandchild)

Dominique is heir to a shady Frostplains family who always seem to be involved in "accidents" that happen to the Frost Giant's enemies-- skating tragedies, icicle impalations, blizzard disappearances, etc. Not as temperamental as the rest of their family, but handle with caution.

Princess Rosalind Sophia Pendragon of Camelot. 16. Female. 5'9 (5'11 in heels). Black hair. Agatha's complexion, poor girl. Perfect posture. Knows too many bad words.

Legacy relative: Me, darling. (Oh, and Aggie and Teddy--

She set it down with a sigh, and exchanged glances with Dominique, who looked completely unamused, lounging on one of Sophie's pink chaise lounges with their long legs draped over the side.

"So, what are you subjecting us to first?" they asked Sophie. "We didn't do anything special last time, you just talked about yourself for twenty minutes and made us fill out a quiz about you for the other forty."

"Which you both did dismally on, I might add," sniffed their Dean, flinging red-scribbled sheets of parchment back at them. "My own niece doesn't know what hand cream I use."

"Am I supposed to be channelling the spirit of my handsome father, as you put it, or not?" muttered Ros.

"In fashion sense, not in attitude towards me, Rosalind!"

Ros snorted and looked back at the test, where Sophie had violently crossed out her answer to question 31: What, in your opinion, was Dean Sophie's finest moment in The Tale of Sophie and Agatha? Ros had written the bit when she got dumped by Tedros because she'd rather he died than see her naked. She'd been in a bad mood by that point.

"Either way, I thought it was obvious," continued Sophie. "The two of you are simply too handsome to ruin with something as common as Uglification. So I am personally intervening in this section of your education, to ensure your potential is fulfilled. We're starting with the power of Never fashion and the potential of weaponizing good looks."

"So that's why you asked for headshots with the application," said Dominique, grudgingly amused.

"I didn't send a headshot," frowned Rosalind.

"I stole the miniature portrait of you from Teddy's desk the second I got wind of you applying to Evil, so that I understood your bone structure properly," said Sophie, rifling through her desk drawer and producing it. "You can send it back to him now, if you like."

Rosalind groaned internally and shoved it into her pocket.

Sophie settled back in her chair to stare at them both.

"So, we'll start with the face, which is the most important weapon in your arsenal," she tapped her chin, considering. "So, what I want you to do is examine each other, and give constructive criticism as to what the other can do to improve the way they present their face. Shall we have drinks? I have a plethora of iced teas..."