Be Gay, Do Crimes: Ros Vs Everything, Apparently

tfw everyone picks their teams for murder tag and you're last to be picked :/

"-- and I just thought I'd ask you for help with my Princess Etiquette homework," Amelie finished softly.

Rosalind couldn't help but look amused. "Me? You're the top-ranked Ever, sweetheart."

"Oh, I know," Amelie said sheepishly, fiddling with the edges of the paper. "I did most of it with the textbook's help, but there's a few we couldn't work out. I don't know anything about Northern dinner etiquette, and Jade's from the South like me, so she doesn't either. We were going to ask Marcus, but I thought, if I saw you tonight...well, you're a Princess."

If she saw her. She'd told Sam something about stealing a few books from the vastly superior Library of Virtue, which was partially true, but Amelie knew full well Rosalind had snuck into Good tonight explicitly to see her, and she'd still brought her damn homework.

Rosalind looked at Amelie in her fluffy slippers and pyjamas, her hair covered by a silk bonnet, and sighed internally. "Alright."

Amelie beamed and came bounding over to sit with her in the alcove. Not exactly thrilled to be doing Ever work, but refusing to complain outwardly, Rosalind peered over her shoulder. "White wine glass is third from the left," she said, pointing to the gaps left unfilled. Amelie hastily scribbled in the answers, and Rosalind eyed her carefully looped handwriting with some endearment. "That's the fish fork. And... oh, that's wrong. At formal dinners, everyone has to stop eating when the monarch does."

"Really?" Amelie stopped scribbling in surprise. "That doesn't seem very fair."

"It's why Dad eats about two things per minute, he hates it," agreed Rosalind. She frowned. "This seems very... boring. I thought Princess Etiquette might have a bit more drama involved."

Amelie shrugged, slowly folding the worksheet back up. "I suppose they have to teach us the basics before we can start practicing!"

Rosalind shook her head, somewhere between amused and disbelieving at Amelie's absolute refusal to speak badly of anyone, even the hugely incompetent Professors. Ros opened her mouth to comment on it--

Amelie leapt to her feet. "Fairy patrol. Coming from Purity."

Rosalind turned sharply, and sure enough, she could hear the whirring of fairy wings, swiftly advancing.

"Quickly!" Amelie grabbed Rosalind's hand and yanked her down the hallway, Rosalind for once glad she'd opted for boots instead of heels. They cut two corners, ducked down a side hallway, and dove behind a huge marble statue of Arthur and Guinevere on their wedding day. Scowling, Rosalind waited until the fairies swept past, chattering furiously to themselves. She crouched behind the base of the statue, straining for any noise of them returning, but it seemed they'd gone. Relieved, she turned--

And found Amelie's face inches from hers.

She froze.

"They're gone," Amelie murmured.

Ros nodded vacantly, not really listening. Amelie looked up at the statue they were behind, eyes big.

"I thought all of the statues of your grandparents were in Merlin's Menagerie," she said. "We're not allowed in, but that's what I'd heard."

Rosalind pulled a face, spell broken. Arthur. Ugh. "No, they were replaced with my parents. Good riddance."

"You don't care for them?" asked Amelie, surprised.

"Only I'm allowed to torment my father," sniffed Rosalind.

Amelie smiled, making her already round face look angelic. "You're funny."