The downworld - Malec Fanfiction AU

Chapter 9- Because you always have a dark side

A

lec.

As I enter the cell in which Underhill is, I feel dangerously calm. Underhill is sitting in a corner and looks up to me. Why the hell isn't he afraid?

“If this isn't The Panther, or should I say the softie-fag-Panther?” he says mockingly. I walk towards him.

“Underhill. I think you remember that I said that girl is off limits, didn't I?”, he smiles dirtily.

“Yes you did, but what are you going to do? Kill me? Ah yes I remember no killing right?” he spits on the ground “You are a disgrace of a gang leader. So soft. That's the thing about you gays, huh? I will find your precious girl and I will rape her. I will make her beg to stop and with each thrust of my dick I will make her…”

“Shut up!” I grab Underhill by the throat and lift him off the ground. I am pleased to see his smile leaving his face. He is struggling to breathe; I feel how the power I have drags me into the dark side of me.

“Don't you dare to talk about that girl like that.” My voice is low as I let go of him. His purple face shows no fear as he finally breathes again.

“You're gay, that's why you're unworthy of being a leader. And that girl will pay the price for it.” That's it. I grab him, throw him to the ground and hit him. I hit him until my fist is bleeding. I feel his nose break under my fist. I feel that some of his teeth break under my fist. He is coughing, breathing in his own blood, I don’t stop. I see that he slowly loses conscience and I don't stop. I hear that the door is opened, I still hit him. I hear Jace screaming to stop, I hit him again and again and again. I feel Jace dragging me away, I just stand there. I watch Jace call an ambulance and help Underhill breathe, I just stand there. I don't feel anything. I step closer and see Underhill laying on the ground begging me not to kill him, I feel nothing. But I hear myself say:

“I am a leader. I protect my people until they betray me. You did, you pay the price. Some things are worse than death you know?” I watch the other members of the gang who are here looking at Underhill then at me.

“I told you that girl is off limits, I won't repeat myself again. And yes I am gay but as you see that doesn’t make me weak. Or maybe it does, because the fact that I did that to Underhill, that is weakness. If you are strong you don’t do that. Remember that being strong is not to lose control. Being strong is not to lash out, did I make myself clear?” I see everyone nod, I feel nothing.

“Go home, if anyone lashes out at you, protect yourself, don't attack. Be strong. If you are weak you'll go to jail.” I see everyone leave except Jace, I feel nothing. The ambulance gets Underhill and leaves, I feel nothing. Jace hugs me. I feel. And it hurts. It kills me. I feel. And I hate it. I feel. And I miss Magnus. I feel. And I cry in Jaces arms. I feel. And I let it happen. I feel. Because it makes me strong. I feel. And I always will.