𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 | 𝐧𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠

1:0

I sat on the cool wooden floor of his loft, flipping through the stack of records that lay in a messy and unorganized pile next to his vintage orange Philips record player. I saw the covers of Nirvana's Nevermind, The Rolling Stones' Some Girls, T. Rex's Electric Warrior - all of which were authentic, seeing as though the covers had seen better days, with dings on the edges and tears in some places. I continued examining the records when I came across David Bowie's The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. My heart immediately sank at the sight of the cover, it was enough for the memories to come flooding back.

Jake had gotten me an original pressing of the album for my 21st birthday and I was over the moon. We put it on my record player and turned it up the loudest it could go, sat in my room watching the sun go down and danced together. We declared that our song was the second one on the album: Soul Love. I would always listen to it while we were away from each other and I can recall the lyrics backwards and forwards with my eyes closed. I still have the record, only it's shoved somewhere underneath my bed out of sight and out of mind. Even still, the album's cover artwork triggers my memories: Bowie standing alone in the dark of Heddon Street in Central London.

I was shoving the album back into the pile of records when Noel walked by and saw me. "About to put on a bit of Bowie, are you? Come on, let's hear it!" His face lit up and I didn't want to put a damper on his childlike excitement.

Taking the record out of its sleeve, I placed it carefully on the player and lifted the needle to drop it on the first track. The sound of soft white noise through the speaker soon faded into the first drum beat of Five Years and then Bowie's voice. I tried to occupy my mind from drifting to the memories with Jake and stood up to put a kettle on in the loft's makeshift kitchen. I wasn't about to let my ex who was out of my life ruin the great evening I was having with Noel.

I watched on from behind the counter as Noel began to gather his various charcoal pencils and an empty sketch pad. He looked so determined and I found it rather charming. I must have been staring at him for a while because the kettle startled me with its hiss. I turned around to take it off the stove and pour the steaming water into two mugs when I heard the song come to an end and transition into the beginning beat of Soul Love. I stared down at the boiling water I had just poured and felt my face begin to heat up, and it was not because of the steam.

"Man, I love this song. Bowie's layered vocals paired with the saxophone solo just speak volumes. The lyrics are incredible as well," Noel expressed as he walked over towards where I was. He gently took hold of my wrist and dragged me over to the empty space in the middle of the loft. Placing one hand on my hip, he moved to interlock our fingers with his other hand that was holding my wrist and we began to sway slowly together. I didn't have time to resist his actions and I found myself not really wanting to.

Our bodies moved back and forth in union underneath the soft lighting of the room to the mellow rhythm of the song that I used to cry to. My hand fit perfectly in his, as his was quite bigger than mine. Noel closed the gap between us, pressing our bodies against each other and I rested my head on his chest.

"New love, a boy and girl are talking new words that only they can share in..."

I could feel my eyes misting up as Noel moved his hand towards my middle to hold me even closer, our bodies still rhythmically moving together. The two of us remained quiet, letting Bowie's voice fill the room. The lyrics suddenly were given a new meaning for me.

"New words, a love so strong it tears their hearts to sleep through the fleeting hours of morning."

When the song got to the chorus and the music swelled, I fluttered my eyes closed and felt warm tears trickle down my cheeks. I didn't know if I was crying out of sadness or happiness, but the moment I was in I certainly did not want to end. If I had known years ago that I would be dancing to the song that once held so much significance for me with someone that I felt immensely connected to on another level, I probably wouldn't believe myself. The night sky creeped in and to anyone that was looking at us from outside the windows, they would have seen two people overflowing with emotion.

As the song neared its end, I could hear the vibration from Noel's chest as he hummed along with Bowie. I felt completely safe in his arms, a feeling that I had long forgotten what it felt like. I cherished the moment as we held each other, his cologne circling around me.

Our dance was soon to be interrupted by Bowie yelling, "I'm an alligator, I'm a mama-papa coming for you!" The next track, Moonage Daydream jerked us out of the state of calm we were in. When we slowly pulled away from each other, I noticed that I had left a spot on Noel's shirt from my tears. I quickly wiped my eyes dry from any remaining tears that were on my face, but that didn't help the fact that my eyes were red.

Noel took notice. "Are you alright, darling?" He reached up to cup my face in his hands and ran his thumbs over my blurring vision.

I put on a smile and nodded my head, looking at him through glassy eyes. "I'm okay," my words came out much softer than I expected them to. "Actually I couldn't be better."