MYRRH (for healing sorrow)

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Finn was upset when she walked back into the apartment. Gavyn switched on the deep red lights and silenced the door. Zhen was asleep. That realisation made Finn even more upset. She would have dropped her bag onto the floor to create noise, but she was wearing her backpack jacket hybrid, which would have just swished like cloth if it hit the ground. She got a glass from the cupboard and turned on the faucet. The water came through as silently as a bubbling brook, which increased her anger levels just a tad bit more. She gulped down the water and was about to slam the glass onto the counter when she caught sight of the two notes above the sink from when she left dishes in the sink all day. The fact that Zhen hadn't taken them down made her smile. She left the glass in the sink.

"Gavyn," she whispered into the dark.

The lights blinked twice.

"Please allow Ares to access the food printer."

The lights blinked again.

"Thank you."

She sighed and walked into her room. Deflated. Defeated. Everything that had transpired that afternoon still didn't feel real. Zhen was behind even thicker walls now. They hadn't spoken from the moment they left Jack's office. And it wasn't the silent treatment from her first few days in the apartment. This silence was different. No, not different. Indifferent. Finn's worst nightmare. Zhen had relegated her to the same status as a piece of lint on one of her jackets. Slightly annoying, but not deserving of any more emotional bandwidth.

It was a tough couple of days after that. It's a hard landing when crashing from a high. Especially when that high was feeling the faintest rays of affection from a soulmate. At the bottom of the fall, one finds their guts spewed all around. Dignity. Self-respect. The sense of self-worth. This constant questioning of whether anyone can ever love you. A question that lingered all the more in the light of unrequited love from the one born to love you.

"Hey, hon."

"Hey, mum," said Finn, falling back onto her bed after sleeping in all morning. "How're are the others?"

"Ina is learning how to play the clarinet," said her mum. "Sorcha is trying to convince me to go to the underwater research station off Fiji's shores."

"That sounds like fun," said Finn. "She loves the ocean."

"Sounds like a lot of work to organise."

"It will be. I'm here to help if you need it. What about you? How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay. I called because I'm sending you a few herb bundles. Any preferences?"

Something to deal with eternal guilt, depression, anxiety, self-loathing, sadness, emotional drains...

"No preferences. Whatever's in season will do fine."

"Wonderful," said her mum. She went silent, but Finn knew she wanted to say something else. So, she waited. "Keira was telling me about your adventures when you met up the other day."

"Was she now?" Finn sat up. She knew where this was going. She'd had the clone of this conversation dozens of times in the last few years. Before, she could mask it all with the rigours of fame. Now...

"She told me about the girl at the checkout, flirting with you. Keira said she was cute."

Finn couldn't remember a single detail of the girl's face. "Yeah. Gorgeous."

"You should ask her out. She works on Fridays. You're usually free then, right?"

"Mum..."

"Just because this curse hangs over our head doesn't mean you can't let yourself live."

The Soulmate CurseWaar verhalen tot leven komen. Ontdek het nu