The Soulmate Curse

Curiosity

Zhen's back hit the wall, but it didn't hurt that much. She kissed Zhen hard. Jo liked it a little rough, and Zhen didn't mind. All the better to get her mind off Finn. They were in the women's locker rooms. Jo walked them to a bench. They always seemed to run a little hot after a fitness training session. This was the last week before they left for the space station and a few days after the sleepover at Finn's, where they held hands, sleeping next to each other on her childhood single. The thought of Finn made Zhen stop.

"Are you okay?" Jo asked.

"Yeah," said Zhen, pulling away from their make out session.

"Hey, we're supposed to have each other's back from here to the ionosphere and beyond," said Jo. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Finn."

"Your girlfriend?"

"That was before," said Zhen, sitting up on the locker bench. Jo sat up too.

"You broke up."

"Not exactly," said Zhen, looking down at her hands and trying to speak through the thickness that was suddenly creeping up her throat. "Kind of."

"We don't have to do this," said Jo, standing up. "I can go find Chad to fuck me."

Zhen laughed. Despite feeling like crap, she laughed. Jo had always been a little out of touch with being human. That's probably why Zhen thought this would work. There was no one better to have a no strings attached affair with. And she was so horny for Finn it hurt. But just like before with Tisha and the others, it didn't. She was getting to her wit's end. She looked up at Jo and smiled.

"Sure, Jo. He'll love that," she said, shaking her head.

"Of course, he will," Jo replied like it was the most obvious fact in the world. She zipped up her shirt. "I'll see you later?"

"Later, weirdo," said Zhen with a small wave.

"I'm taking that as a compliment," she called back as she walked out of the locker room.

"As you should." Said Zhen to herself.

She thought about Jo for a bit. About being on the other side of what was her usual entanglement with girls. Being someone's object, rather than the other way around. It was a little surreal. She thought about all the girls back home. Maybe she needed to make a few amends. Make some clean breaks. Then she thought about Finn. That situation needed a clean break too. And maybe this trip was that break. Maybe she'd move out of their apartment when she got back. Clean break. No matter what, she couldn't ruin what her dad had found. Something he'd thought he'd lost forever when her mum died.

This was an especially important decision right now. Zhen was days away from hitting the biggest milestone of her life. Everything she'd been working towards. She would soon be stepping onto the International Space Station, ISS2. Once she did and was successful at her mission assignment, it would be unofficially official. She was going to be a part of the Mars Mission of 2075. That was all she'd ever wanted her whole life. All she'd ever worked for. The one thing she knew how to do well. This was her life. Nothing else. Not Finn.

"Hey Zhen," said Corbin, joining Zhen in the space crew's kitchen. "That smells good."

"My roommate is always making this frittata," said Zhen, switching off the stove top and sliding her pan into a preheating oven. She looked up at Corbin. "Thought I'd give it a try."

Corbin went straight to the food printer and set it up for a margherita pizza.

"You've lived with us every weekend for the last two years," he said, setting up his cutlery and crockery. "And I have never seen you cook on the stovetop once. Didn't even think you knew how."

Zhen feigned offense. "I'll have you know that I can follow simple cooking video tutorials."

"I can see that," he said grabbing a glass of apple juice. "Excited for the mission?"

"Yeah, definitely," said Zhen. "You?"

"It'll be my third trip there and I'm still too excited to sleep."

Jo and Chad joined them catching the last part of the conversation.

"Am I the only one annoyed by the fact that the International Space Station is now basically owned by a corporation?" said Jo, queuing her meal to print after Corbin's.

"Space travel costs money and resources that neither the Open Source Collective nor governments can afford," said Corbin with a shrug as he served up his pizza. "MechSoft can."

"Don't you think they have too much power? Corporations?" said Jo. "They appropriate everything and then hoard it until it can make them money. They never act for the good of humanity."

"The tech and innovation does eventually make it to market," said Zhen, remembering her modified caffeine formula that was taken from her years ago. "It just takes a little while."

"That might be true, but when it does, they reap most of the benefits, usually to the detriment of everyone else," said Jo.

"So, what do you suggest?" asked Corbin.

"I don't know," Jo admitted, as she collected her burger from the printer. "I guess, as long as I can travel to Mars someday, it doesn't matter as much."

"A problem for the next generation to figure out," Chad finally chimed in. "We're doing our part already."

The weeks went by fast. Having realigned her focus, Zhen was lost to everything else except for the tasks at hand. There were three other astronaut candidates who shared her rank. They were Jo, Chad and Link, all training as future Mission Specialists, first on the Space Station and later the Mars Shuttle. Zhen was their de-facto leader. This first trip to the new space station would only include Zhen and Jo. Zhen had joined the crew to exclusively live on the GSI base for a month before the launch. Her days were now spent working with their commanding officers and non-stop training for this relatively long-haul launch. It was great. Her mind was blank of everything else.

"Alright everyone," called out their mission commander after an exercise training session. "This is the last day of training for the launch. For the next two days we need you to relax and decompress. Enjoy time with loved ones. Take care of whatever you need to. We'll see you all in two days."

Zhen wondered what that would mean. Two days alone with nothing to focus on but her thoughts wasn't something she was looking forward to. It wasn't just thoughts of Finn either. Sometimes, when she got like this, so into her head, she'd start to wonder what it was all for. The pain, the hurt, the loss. The struggle. Life.

"You okay?" asked Corbin as they were walking back to the crew living quarters.

"I feel like I'm going to forget to pack something important for the trip and I'm going to spend the whole month beating myself up for it," Zhen lied.

"You will," said Corbin with a laugh.

Zhen laughed. "That doesn't help."

"Every experience is worth it, good or bad," said Corbin. "Part of the simulation."

"You believe that too?"

"Believe it? I live it."

"I thought you believed this was a test simulation," said Zhen. "To teach the observers how best to be, act, live?"

"I believe that too. That we need to live our best lives. Be our best selves. Show those observers that we can be good," Corbin agreed.

"You believe in a lot."

"I believe in a lot," he said, laughing. "In you too. Don't worry too much about the trip. You'll be great."