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𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐟
𝚕𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍
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H E R
Carl and I set out our blankets and pillows in the hallway right outside the door of the cramped main office where Beth and the children were asleep.
The boy insisted it was because he wanted to be out in the open so if his father called for him, he could go without disturbing anyone. But I became suspicious of his reasoning when he asked me to stay in the hall with him. He said he was only offering because he heard they were going to make me sleep next to the four year old bed wetter, so I took the opportunity.
We lay there, two lone figures in the vast expanse of darkness, our breaths mingling with the stillness of the night. Lost in our own thoughts, yet acutely aware of the other's presence.
I stole glances at him from the corner of my eye, watching as he lay there motionless, his chest rising and falling in rhythm with the steady beat of his heart.
But sleep eluded me, the night pressing in on me like a suffocating blanket. In that moment, I felt more alone than I had ever felt before. The emptiness of the room seemed to swallow me whole, leaving me adrift in a sea of darkness and uncertainty. And as my stomach churned with anxiety, I squeezed my eyes shut tight, praying for the dawn to come and chase away the shadows that haunted me.
Then something gripped me, lacing its fingers with mine.
I looked down at my hand to find it linked with Carl's.
His skin felt nice against mine. Although, it was neither soft nor smooth but rough and callousy. One-hundred percent completely Carl. I didn't expect anything less. And I gripped his hand like a vice, hanging on for dear life, fully accepting his small gesture of friendship.
Because in that moment, Carl was all I had.
How I envied him. For his caring father who planted vegetables with him. For his sweet baby sister who he doted over. Did he know how lucky he was? Or did he dwell on the loss of his mother too heavily? And he had the whole damn prison at his fingertips, full of connections and bonds of loyalty. An seemingly endless amount of arms to catch him if he ever were to fall.
