Unintended Consequences

Chapter 6

Let me know if it's not clear enough, but my plan is that all chapters will be Charlotte's POV unless specifically labelled otherwise. So I'm not going to label every chapter.
Potential trigger warning: Talk of social anxiety & anxiety attacks.
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After my breakdown on Monday, the rest of the week went by uneventfully. I still couldn't believe Archer of all people was able to help me calm down. Honestly, I think half the reason why it worked was that I could see how uncomfortable he was. He obviously did not comfort a lot of hysterical women but the fact that he tried was almost... endearing? I guess I had a human moment and for once I forgot about all of the pain Archer caused me—although unknowingly—and just talked.

When I walked away from Archer I was shocked with myself that I had opened up so much. After the emotionally exhausting morning I had though, I think I was about to burst and needed to get it all out. I held it together for most of the morning and kept my anxiety attack at bay, but once I got to that tree, I lost it.

I hated it when this happened to me. My chest squeezed and my breath shortened. I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks as I sucked in air and tried to ground myself. Thankfully, this didn't end up being a bigger attack so I was able to calm my breathing eventually. I always felt exhausted and sore after, so I had tucked my head into my knees and stayed like that for God knows how long—until Archer found me.

His advice was honestly not bad either. I used it for the rest of the week and it did help in a few classes. I also was able to see what he was talking about. I spent a bit more time watching my classmates and there were a lot of nervous faces in the crowd. More than a few were only able to stutter out a few words when the professors called on them and the profs seemed to be used to it because they just moved on.

    I still felt nervous every day when I walked to my classes but it was at least tolerable. In the spirit of pushing myself, I knew I had to at least try. Running back home the first sign of any problems would definitely not help me become more independent.

Now it was Thursday. I finished my last class for the week and when I got home Madeline immediately jumped on me to get ready for the Pep Rally with her. I hadn't seen her too much over the last few days since we were both settling into new routines. But whenever I did, she made a concerted effort to bond with me. She had even come and sat on my bed a couple of times complaining about her profs, or guys she talked to on Tinder. She never stayed too long but it was nice to have someone to talk to.

I could already tell being friends with Madeline was going to be very different than what I was used to. Back home, it was always Brit, Kayla, and I—the three musketeers. They were so loud and outgoing that I often just sat back and listened more than really contributing anything myself. They had never minded—or noticed—and it worked just fine for me.

But with Madeline, it was just the two of us alone in this dorm. Don't get me wrong, the girl was pretty long-winded when we were together. But there would always be a point where she stopped and turned to me to ask my opinion or for advice. I felt ridiculous giving her my pathetic responses. I mean, I didn't have nearly as much life experience as Madeline so I didn't know how anything I said would be of value.

Thankfully, Madeline never made me feel bad about it. She listened intently as I spoke, ignored any time I stuttered or lost a word, and then when I was done she would smile like I was a genius and carry on.

I sat on Madeline's bed while she was at her desk doing her makeup. We had an hour before we needed to leave for the Rally and I wasn't sure what I could do to myself to be any more ready than I was from this morning. I had showered the night before so my curls ran softly down my back. I pulled the top half back into a bun and secured it loosely with a scrunchy like usual. Over the course of the day a lot of pieces fell out, but I liked the wispy way the curls framed my face.