𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞? | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐚

thirteen

avanis pov

"ava i'm so incredibly sorry" anthony begins to speak but i soon cut him off.

"sorry isn't going to cut it this time. YOU FUCKING KILLED SOMEONE" i scream at him as sobs escape from deep in my throat.

"i know that. but i promise i'll do everything i can to make it up to you" he stands still, his eyebrows furrowed and a hurt look so clearly displayed.

"this isn't just about me and how i feel right now. did you even think about how her family and friends feel, i cried all night when i found out someone so close to me had been killed. i mean all i could think about was how much of a monster that person must be and this whole time it was the one person i trusted most" i lower my voice so that instead of anger he see's betrayal.

"please can you just listen to me for a minute" he takes both my hands and stares directly into my eyes that are still spiked with tears. 

i give him a nod to signal i'm listening to what he's about to say.

"kayla and her friends brought alcohol with them to camp and they would sneak our everynight and get absolutely hammered. it wasn't until the third night i asked her to stop and she got very aggressive with me, she forced herself on me. avani she began to sexually abuse me" the room around him fell silent as anthony spoke, each word just further breaking my heart. i can't believe i was so mad at him.

"she started doing it every night, the second last night it was around three am and i couldn't take it anymore, i saw a knife on my beside cabinet and thought it was the only way out. i know i could've handled it better and i regret it everyday, she wasn't even meant to die i just wanted her off me" anthony looks broken when he's finished, one look in his eyes tells me there wasn't a singular lie included.

"why didn't you tell me" my voice is quiet, i'm just barely audible. 

"i wanted to leave it all behind me. that night was hell and i never want to relive it" tears now stream down his cheeks as he stares down at the floor.

seeing him cry for the first time is horrible, i've never experienced something like this.

"ant look at me" i whisper before my hands cup his face.

"i can see how genuine this is and i want you to know i believe you completely, it's just there is this little part of me that is still scared" i speak with confidence now, i want him to know how much i care but brushing feelings like this under the rug is something i won't do.

anthony pulls away from my touch and sits himself down on the bed, his head instantly falls into his hands. no matter how i feel seeing him like this will always hurt me, so i sit down beside him, my arms wrapping around his neck and my head falling on his shoulder. he doesn't even spare me a glance.

"i'm such a horrible person that my own girlfriend is scared of me" his voice breaks as he is now the one sobbing.

i take both his hands in mine causing him to look up at me.

"i understand you were protecting yourself, even if it could've been done in a much different way that's not your fault, you were cornered with only one choice. i've been in a moment were i felt like that too and i did the same" i keep my low voice, my fingers slowly stroke the top of his palm.