(I Just) Died In Your Arms ~ Stanley Uris

017

Beverly's POV

"What?" Julia's voice didn't even sound surprised, she sounded more concerned than anything. Her voice was already soothing, I started to gain composure again.

"Bill likes Cynthia. He doesn't even love me anymore." I whined, leaning against the wall of my brand new bed room. The walls were recently painted an off white and boxes cluttered everywhere. Even though I wasn't in my old house anymore, I felt unsafe. I felt as if I was trapped in my old house again with no escape.

"You don't know that..." Her voice trailed, coming up with nothing to disprove my theory. I felt to my bottom, wiping tears from my eyes. How could he do this to me? This summer means nothing?

"Julia, don't act stupid for me." I snapped, my fingers clutching the plastic phone so tight that my knuckles were turning white. "I know that you've seen it too."

"Fine." She admitted, in a tone similar to Stan's. I swear, ever since they started dating she's become more and more like him. It made me so furious that she used to look up to Bill and I as the ideal couple, and now it was switched. "I do see it, yes."

"His eyes always follow her, he never looks at me the same way, and he always defends her!" I listed each reason, covering my face with my other hand. I couldn't believe this was happening. "If he didn't like me, he shouldn't have kissed me in the first place. God, I wish I could break up with him but he's just too nice and I love him, I can't."

"Bev, you can do it." Julia mumbled, her fingernails tapping on her phone. Her voice seemed so calm and relaxing, easing down from all these feelings I had. "If you want to break up with him, you can do that. If you wish to stay, you can also do that. Your feelings are valid."

"Yeah, I know." I said, even though that was a lie. I didn't know half the shit I was doing. I reached into my pocket and took out my white box of cigarettes, opening the window and taking out my lighter. Julia must've heard me lighting one.

"Hey, don't rely on your cancer sticks." Julia sneered, bringing me to laugh hoarsely. She never failed to make me chuckle even the darkest of times. "Those make your lungs turn black."

"I don't care." I smiled, inhaling the thick smoke. It filled my lungs and washed away my feelings in a split second. It tricked me into thinking everything was okay. The paper cigarette rested in my fingers so naturally, as I would do this a couple times a day. The light at the end glowed in the shadows of my room. "They're over exaggerating."

I could feel Julia's eye roll from the other side, groaning into the speaker. "You're going to get lung cancer."

"So what?" I asked, extinguishing the flame at the end of my joint. She didn't know what cigarettes did for me. She didn't know how they took away my problems. "I don't know what I'm going to do about Bill."

"Hey, I'm here okay? I'm free to call whenever you need it." Julia reassures as I wipe away escaping tears from my eyes. "You're amazing, Bev, don't let anyone take that for granted."

I nodded, taking in her words thoughtfully. I heard her soft breathing on the other side, waiting for a response. I didn't know what to say, still in deep thoughtful of which option should to do.

"I love you, Julia." I said swiftly, preparing to hang up and let me go back to my feelings, thinking out all my options before I did anything.

"I love you too, Bev." She said gently, the words escaping her lips so easily. "Sleep easy. Bye bye."

I hung up the phone and took out another cigarette, lighting it quickly and inhaling the thick black smoke, not giving a damn if I could get cancer. I needed the nicotine to make everything feel okay.