(I Just) Died In Your Arms ~ Stanley Uris

028

Bill's POV

I woke up early this morning, at least a couple of hours before school even started, so early that the birds weren't chirping and the sun was barely peaking over the hills. I was drenched in a cold sweat, going through another nightmare about Georgie. The one thing Julia's hospitalization had done for me is that it only reminded me of him, bringing the grief back to me all at once.

My therapist told me there was five stages of it. The first begins denial, the second anger, the third being bargaining, the fourth depression, and the final one being acceptance. It felt like most of us were in the later stages with Julia, while I was stuck in the fourth. It wasn't unfamiliar for me to be stuck in a stage, I've been stuck in the first with Georgie for over a year.

My sheets were bundled in front of me, and I had grasped them in my sleep for security, the exact size a seven year old Georgie would be. His bedroom was still there, all perfectly made like he would come home the next day, as if I hadn't seen him all ripped apart deep down in the sewers.

My parents talked of boarding that room up permanently, but I resented that idea, since I didn't want to just patch up the memory of him like he was nothing.

I couldn't just sit here and think of him, I would bring myself to tears with the mere memory of him. The only way I could stop was if I forced myself to be productive, even if it was 5:30 in the morning. I rolled out of bed, getting on my hands and knees to reach for my sketch book, which was collected dust from lack of use.

I opened it up to the newest page, my heart set on drawing an image of Julia, an image I could give her when she finally gets out of the hospital. I would draw Cynthia, but I already filled up pages of her face, and I needed a change of inspiration.

Sprawled across the bed with a couple of pencils and pens littered next to me, I started drawing the outline of her face, keeping in mind her chin was sharp and sculpted, like a statue. Her eyes were big like two gems situated on her face, and her eyebrows were nice and thick, matching her equally as thick gorgeous hair. Her expression was smiling bashfully, looking down instead of straight forward. The drawing was going so well I wanted to color it in later, but I hadn't even gotten to her hair once my alarm rang.

I stood up from my bed, opening the great big closet at the foot of my bed. The only choice I had was jeans and a hoodie, since the rest of my clothing was either dirty or too small. I put on a navy blue hoodie which fell baggy on my thin arms. My jeans were acid washed, with speckles of old dirt stains at the cuffs, ripped at the knees.

I skipped breakfast as usual, the thought of sitting at the table with my two almost lifeless parents for more than a few minutes making me sick to my stomach, losing my appetite.

I stepped outside into my lawn, throwing my leg over my bike 'Silver,' letting it roll down the hill at high speeds. I was honestly too distracted to care if I would fly over the handlebars or not, like my head was up in the clouds with no escape.

I found Eddie and Richie biking along Jackson street, the air around them filled with laughter and jokes, jokes that were dry and uncomfortable since neither of them could find much joy from these hard times. Stan would usually tag along with them, but after he broke up with Julia he probably switched to another street where he wouldn't have to confront the others. I joined with the two, who were snickering to themselves and not paying much attention to me.

After we passed Center Street Ben and Beverly joined along, sharing loving glances with each other, probably waking up just as early as I did to visit each other in secret. It was complete bullshit because it was quite obvious, disgustingly, obvious. And then when we came around the bend of Costello avenue, Mike and Cynthia came too. Underneath her great hazel eyes were dark circles revealing she had again spent the night in Julia's hospital room, receiving no sleep in return. It was like everyone was in pairs except for me, which wasn't something I was accustomed to. It was usually me and Beverly or me and Julia, but now I had nobody.