it was her dream.

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(trigger warning. mention of suicide.)

it was her dream to be a ballet dancer

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it was her dream to be a ballet dancer. she had just joined a children's dance club and was absolutely thrilled with the idea of putting on a pink, frilly tutu. it all happened so quickly.

she was only two days past five years old when she collapsed to the ground, wheezing for air. her lungs were expanding rapidly, swelling up in her tiny chest. she would remember that agonizing sensation forever, the thumping of her wobbly knees to the ground, the clawing at her neck as she tried to breathe.

the teachers at her kindergarten were horrified. within an hour, she had been hospitalised, her frail arms connected to several winding tubes. the realisation, followed by the devastation, that pooled in her heart was harrowing. hyerim's life was forever changed. it was too risky for her to exercise. no more dancing, no more pink tutus.

no more breathing..?

she was a ghostly little girl with bitter eyes that haunted you— eyes that made you feel guilty for breathing normally. why do you get to be normal?

tears... so many tears. from hyerim and her parents. her mother in particular, had swimming pools filled to the brim with her crying alone.

hyerim's mother used to be a beautiful lady, with chocolate brown eyes and lovely curly locks that cascaded past her shoulder. but ever since that day, the brilliant, golden brown around her irises had been faded— reduced to dull, coppery orbs. her hollowed cheekbones were prominant on her gaunt face, her lips as pale as the colour of her ivory skin.

her baby... her baby could stop breathing and be taken away from her at any time.

paranoia had wrecked her, destroyed every inch of her beauteous soul. within a year, her once healthy body had simply become the battered shell of her youth.

hyerim remembered when she came home one day and saw her mother lying down on the floor, in a pool of crimson liquid.

it was a hauntingly beautiful red... the kind of deep, carmine red you'd see on a rose in a flower garden. hyerim couldn't help but reach out, her tiny fingers brushing across the thick scarlet liquid. she screamed.

the next day, her mother was taken away to a mental institution.

the strangest thing was that hyerim's mother would only recognised her when she smiled.

"my beautiful baby! come here, let me give you a hug," she would mumble as she spread her skeleton arms wide open. hyerim would put on her brightest grin and leap into her mother's arms. hyerim always felt comforted at the warmth of her mother.

maybe, her mother simply wished they could both pretend they were perfectly healthy.

pretending was easy. she could pretend if it meant that her mother would hug her again like everything was all right.

joy ride ♛ jjkWhere stories live. Discover now