Swan Song || The Lost Boys - & The One Who Found Them...

Chapter XII ~ ᛃ ( Jera ) Part II - Drink The Wine, Taste The Blood

[ Realization ]

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I wandered the Boardwalk aimlessly, lost among hundreds of unfamiliar faces & the echoes of blithely laughter, viewing half of the world before me through uncried tears; every time a tear threatened to fall I would just quickly wipe it away again, enjoying the clear sight for a moment before new ones distorted my vision. They all ached to be cried but I coldly denied them such, unwilling to let the past catch up with me after years of being in the lead.

I had no clue what time it was, not having touched my phone since my departure from the comic book store out of fear that seeing Kjetil's message would tempt me to read the rest which, knowing myself, would only push me near the edge of a breakdown. Neither my mental nor my physical state was a good one right now, that I was well aware of, so I needed to avoid possible triggers at all costs. It wasn't the easiest thing to do under the current circumstances, but certainly the best.

Heaving a sigh heavy as the lump in my throat & the weight I felt on top of my chest whenever I attempted to take a deep breath I stopped in my tracks, blinking several times to erase the tears under my eyelids before staring at the ground to my feet with an expression blank & tired, almost a little helpless.

The message had admittedly caught me off guard; so much that I had nearly forgotten why I was still at the Boardwalk at this hour at all…

Meeting David & his boys at the Looff Carousel at 9.

I looked up to get a sense of direction, with nothing but the huge rollercoaster in the near distance to reorient myself until I recognized the Chinese snack back several feet away; the one where Dwayne & I had met each other for the first time.

What were the odds of me walking all the way up here without consciously being aware of it? The mind was such a mysterious thing…

My stroll continued, the many-coloured signs & writings, alluring scents of foreign food & loud voices shouting at me from left & right in order to get my attention on their products unable to distract me from making a straight line for my destination. I had seen the Carousel before on my first visit at the Boardwalk so I had at least a slight idea where to find it, even though my sense of orientation was a rather poor one.
With each step the rollercoaster drew within reach, as would the joyful, adrenaline-rushed screams of the people riding it, my eyes constantly in motion while searching the area. The amount of people flooding the amusement park was astounding & seemed to increase with each moment that passed, my small self soon having difficulties keeping track of my surroundings since every second person appeared to be taller than me.

I squeezed my own way through the crowd, mumbling a soft Sorry every five seconds until I arrived at a small hot dog booth. The tall bearded guy curiously glanced over the counter the moment he saw me.

" How may I help you, young lady? "

" I'm sorry if that's a stupid question, but how do I get from here to the Looff Carousel? "

He chuckled like the huge but friendly giant that he was, nodding left.
" You are looking right at it! Well, you would be looking at it if you were a tad taller ~ "

I tiptoed in my spot, leaning to the side to peer past the booth, seeing nothing but flashing vintage lights & hearing music until the cluster of people began to dissolve & I finally realized that I was currently standing right in front of the waiting line.

" Yeah, I will make sure to grow a few inches once I've got some time to spare ~ " I joked, flashing the man a smile.
" Thank you! "

I heard him respond with a You're welcome when I was already paving my own path through the crowd, aiming for the safety railing that surrounded the cheesy vintage merry-go-round; quite an eye-catcher & without a doubt beautiful to look at, but ever since my brain surgery my sense of balance was easy to disturb which meant that I got dizzy just by looking at it.