Wonderstruck ✓

Chapter 30

Dear Off,

By the time you've opened this letter, I'm already on a plane on my way to somewhere where I could take a break and have some space. And where I could give you your freedom and peace. I don't want you to know where I'm going because I'm afraid you might follow me. I'm afraid that if I see you again, the right choices that were so hard for me to make might bend the moment I see your dazzling eyes and the peace I've tried so hard to give you might fade away into nothing as soon as we see each other again.

I've been in love with you for so many years already, Off. I was wonderstruck the moment you stepped out of my university's stage and stood on that podium, all confident and cocky. You had me for the past five years even if you didn't know about my existence. You had me, Prince Off, you have me and you will always have me. Please remember that. You will forever own my heart and I could never love anyone else the way I loved you.

It was hard to walk away from the person I was in love with. But it was harder to stay knowing that I am destroying you and your future. I know you will be a great king. I have never seen you as the bad guy that the media has always painted you to be and when you told me that you're giving up your throne, I can't help but feel guilty because I think I was one of the reasons for it. You will be greater without me, Off. Your father was right. You need someone stronger. Unfortunately, I am not that person. I will crumble right away when I see you cry. My knees would turn into jelly by your simple smile. My heart would melt when I hear you laugh. You are my kryptonite, Jumpol.

I mean it when I say that no matter what happens, you are the only person I will love. I will forever carry the memories we shared for a short time. Know that the time I spent with you might be the shortest but it was the happiest I've ever been. You are my happiness, Off and I couldn't stay knowing I might pull you away from your capabilities. I will continue to support you, but this time, it will be from afar.

I know this sounds selfish, but I hope that one day our paths will cross again. I will look for you in another lifetime. I am positive that we will have our own time, Off. I'm just afraid that it isn't within this life. But my soul is already yours, Off. I am all yours even if you aren't mine. Remember my words because I will never forget yours.

Take care of yourself. You've always been gorgeous to my eyes.

I love you,

Gun

Off could see wet spots on the paper as his tears dropped on the letter. He couldn't stop his tears from flowing. Knowing Gun left him caused him so much pain, but reading the letter and knowing the reason why was another story. Gun left him because he thought he'd be better off without him. Gun left him in the attempt to keep him in the throne, to change his mind and choose to be king. Gun left him because he loved him too much and he couldn't stand seeing him throw away everything. Gun left him because he thought it was the right thing to do. Gun left him because he needed to.

Off read the letter again and again until he felt like he had memorized Gun's words already. He had never cried this much before, but his tears couldn't seem to stop flowing as he held the letter in his hand.

He knew what he needed to do and what he should've done a long time ago. He could've saved his and Gun's relationship if only he was brave enough to face his worst nightmare. It was too late now because Gun was already gone, but like the actor, the prince was doing what he thought was right too.

Wiping his tears, he carefully folded Gun's letter and put it in his jeans' pocket. Before he left Gun's room, he took one last lingering look, trying to memorize the place where he had one of the best moments with Gun, and closed the door behind him.