My Name is Joseph

Coming to Terms Part 1

Jonathan slowly opened the door to the room he shared with Alex and glanced around. It took him a few seconds to spot Alex, wedged between the edge of his own bed and the wall, almost completely hidden from sight. His head was in his knees and his hands were clenched beside him.

"Alex, wha--"

"Go away, Jonathan."

Jonathan started partially at the harshness of his tone, but more at the raw pain that clearly underlined it. "Alex, you know I can't--"

Alex looked up at him, anger, bitterness, and pain glaring daggers into Jonathan, "I said go away."

Jonathan just looked at him steadily, completely aware of the splotches on Alex's face and the tears on his cheeks. "Alex, you need to listen to me. The sergeant gave me fifteen minutes to talk to you. If you don't listen, he's going to come in here and get you into some serious trouble."

Alex just continued gazing at Jonathan, but the anger and pain in his eyes turned into an almost dead-ness that scared Jonathan. Alex shrugged but did not say anything, "It's not like that would be any worse than what has already happened," he muttered.

Jonathan walked over quietly and sat down on the floor across from him. "Alex, what's wrong? What happened that has been causing you to have these outbursts? We need to deal with it before you really get into trouble."

Alex just shrugged and looked down.

Jonathan looked at him intently, "Alex, I'm your friend. I care. I want to help you. I don't want you to get into trouble. I don't want you to have to deal with whatever this pain is alone." He put his hand on Alex's knee, "and I don't think God wants you to either."

Alex's bright blue eyes snapped up at this statement as another burst of anger and bitterness flared again, "I don't need or want God. He has not done anything for me."

Jonathan held his gaze, "Alex, you know I don't believe that. Even if whatever happened was terrible he was always with you." Alex glared at him as he continued, "But even if you don't yet trust God, you can trust me too. I want to help you. What happened?"

When Alex just continued staring at him with that scary, dead expression, Jonathan wracked his mind to see if he could come up with some answer to his own question. "That news article triggered the anger, didn't it? Did something similar happen in your family?"

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I could not take it any more. I had to get some of this pressure off my chest, or I would really do something that I would later regret. And even though what had already happened to me most likely could not be matched, getting in trouble here would not help in the least.

I glanced up at Jonathan, and seeing his completely compassionate and earnest gaze broke my last restraints. My voice broke as I said, "Yes. Something happened to my family."

Jonathan just nodded and waited. I gulped, trying to work away the tears, but not succeeding, then started again, "A kidnapping," I paused, my jaw working, "happened in my family."

Jonathan's eyes widened.

I closed my eyes tightly and clenched and un-clenched my fists, fighting the pain and bitterness that threatened to overwhelm me. "He was the same age as Joseph Stevens. Right before his senior year ended he was kidnapped and we haven't heard anything from him since."

I swiped my hand over my eyes, hoping to wipe them dry, before continuing, "My father was distraught. My brothers, they," I chocked and struggled to get the next words out of my mouth as ire rose in my throat, "they didn't care. In fact, it seemed that they might have actually been glad."