Don't Let Me Go || KTH

Chapter 17

Rui's Pov

"Honey, you have to eat something. If you starve, you're going to make me worry," V said as he urged a spoonful of rice toward my lips.

I turned my head towards him and gave him a look before turning away.

Ever since I gave up my attempt on trying to open the doors of the room that I was kept in, I stayed quiet, not uttering a single word. V eventually couldn't bear my silence and finally unlocked the doors, in hopes of trying to at least get me to talk to him after freeing me from my prison. It still didn't satisfy him that after he let me out, I still wasn't talking to him.

And so here we are: him trying to feed me, and still clinging on to the last ounces of hope within him that food will get me to talk.

"If you don't want rice, how about eating some fried pork belly? Yeah! You've always liked to eat fried pork belly," V said enthusiastically, using his chopsticks to pick up a slice. "And then after that, we will have your favorite dessert: strudels."

My heart skipped a beat and my blood went cold.

How did he know?

It creeped me out even more that he specifically knew what I liked although we've never had any conversations that had anything to do with food.  So how was it that he knew what I liked?

"I... I don't want any..." I mumbled, avoiding any eye contact with him.

"That's... that's the first thing that you've ever said today... but here, eat it with rice. It should make you full, yeah?" He smiled as he added more slices of fried pork belly onto my plate which was already filled with rice.

I stared at my plate as it kept piling up with more side dishes overlapping the amount of rice that was given to me.

"Why didn't you have faith in me?" I asked.

V stopped eating and looked up at me clueless. "What?"

"I asked, why didn't you have faith in me?" I slammed both of my hands on the table and stood up, looking at him as he sat there staring at me with confused eyes.

"If only you trusted me with my feelings. If only you have just given me more time to consider our relationship that we had, maybe none of this would have happened!" I screamed while flaring my arms up in disappointment. "You can't just expect me to accept your love overnight and expect me to love you back in a snap! Love, V, love takes time. It takes time to accept one's flaws, takes time to get to know the person, takes time to trust someone, and takes time to be sure that you'll stay committed to that person. It takes time, V. Clearly, you don't understand that. You are so selfish, you know that? You only thought about yourself! You've never thought about how any of this would have affected me!"

"I... I..." he kept on repeating since he didn't know how to answer back, afraid of disappointing me with any answer that came from him.

"I never knew how insecure you were that you would have the guts to go out of your way to kill so many people. Why were you so afraid? Not to mention, the fact that you lied to me and everyone else about yourself is completely out of the ordinary." I stood up and before I left the dining table, I turned to look at V. "Why do you even love me when you can't even trust me?" I said before leaving him alone.

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I walked towards the bed that I woke up in with a top and shorts and turned off the fancy lamp that dimly lit the room before burying myself in the blankets and pillows that the bed provided after a long, hot shower.

If I want to escape, I'll need to keep myself healthy to do so. I can't just starve myself or else I won't have any energy in me to carry out my plan, but what? How? How can I escape? How will I do it? 

I curled my legs as my knees came in touch with my chest and wrapped my arms around myself to keep myself from crying.

I have to stay alive. I have to stay alive. I have to stay alive...

I closed my eyes with my thoughts of yesterday and the days that I spent with V. Our first glance, our first date, our first kiss, the days that I felt myself falling for him. I began to think about the moments that we both shared, my thoughts made me wince and scrunch my eyes in regret.

I fell in love with a liar...

I fell in love with a murderer...

I fell in love with someone... who I never truly knew...

I groaned while shifting my body and tried to bring myself into one of my usual adventurous dreams.

Before I could fall deep into my slumber, I heard slow heavy footsteps outside of my room. I slowly peeked from under my blanket to see a shadow underneath the doors. 

No movement. 

No sound. 

Nothing.

Why is he just standing there? 

Suddenly the door opened with a shirtless V who only wore his sweatpants and a flashlight in his hand. I quickly closed my eyes and brought the blanket closer to me when he slowly closed the door, locked it with the key, and walked toward the bed.

I felt the bed start to shift with his weight as he came closer and closer to my body until there was barely any space between us. He hesitantly wrapped his left arm around my waist with my bareback touching his muscular chest.

"I know that you're asleep... but I'll tell you anyway, although you won't hear me..."

I can hear you perfectly fine with how close you are next to me.

"I... I know I've lied to you about everything that involved me, but I did it for a reason," he said, "I did everything to protect myself. A timid boy who is going to Seoul High School with his six friends. All of that was my cover to hide my true identity. I did all of that just so I can come back strong someday to take over my family's company. I know that my grandma won't be here with me forever and that she's going to leave sooner or later. So if I want to take over, I have to come back strong. I just... I have to be strong or else I'll end up like my father..."

His parents... his grandma... he's never talked about his family before.

"My mother died when she gave birth to me and my father... was murdered. There's just my grandma left and I'm the only heir in the Kim family now. Our family in every generation has made so many accomplishments and now it's my responsibility to continue it."

"I know I've made a horrible, horrible mistake, but the ten people who I killed aren't the only ones who I've murdered."

I tensed upon hearing his confession.

"I have killed many others who have tried to kill me and many underdogs who have attempted to bring down the Kim family's downfall. I stained my hands with blood for my safety. I've planned everything to set my path on taking after my family's business, but one thing I know for sure was that I never planned on falling in love with you or meeting you. I met you by chance and you're the luckiest thing that's ever happened to me in my life. I may have hidden most things about myself from you, but I have never lied to you about my name or how much I truly love you. My name is Kim Taehyung. V is just another name that I made for myself."

This is too much for me to take in one day. What have I done to deserve being lied to?

He tightened his hold and pulled me even closer to his chest. "You have proven to me that even if I wasn't the most perfect in everyone's eyes, you still saw purpose in me and accepted the person who was most likely far from being perfect. You truly are the one for me." He snuggled his face into my back and gave me small, gentle pecks.

"You're the only apple in my eye, Rui."

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