Thantophobia | Adam Banks (4)

I hate you too

 Adam Banks walked towards the bedroom door of Lexi Conway, seemingly in a trance. He had no idea how to process all of the emotions he was feeling. 

He had to tell Lexi what had happened. He had to share with her how he felt. 

When the door was thrown open he was met with the sight of the girl, she moved to embrace him but the boy kept a stone-cold expression on his face as he threw out a hand to stop her from hugging him.

Before she questioned him the boy quickly began to inform the girl what had gone on around an hour prior. "Zoe kissed me".

The boy watched as the smile was yet to leave Lexi's face, she nodded reassuringly and Adam felt annoyance, he was trying to tell her he liked it but he didn't want to be too brutal about it. 

He listened to the girl begin to ramble and inwardly groaned, he just needed to get this over and done with and here she was making it extremely difficult. 

"I liked it" he stated boredly, feeling only a small tinge of guilt as he watched the girls facial expression drop and tears begin to pool her eyes. 

"You liked it?" The girl whispered brokenly, staring at the boy in disbelief, he refused to look at her as she moved closer, doing her best to make eye contact with him.

"I'm sorry" Adam spoke, he couldn't wait for the conversation to be done, he couldn't wait to leave.

Lexi shook her head, forcing the tears back,  Adam could tell she didnt want to cry in front of him "Don't be sorry, I trusted you. My mistake, not yours. You need to leave. You need to go. I can't do this, at least not right now" the girl spoke soflty.

The boy couldn't help the harshness in his tone when he spoke his next sentence "I thought I needed to go months ago", the venom to the boys tone even slightly startled him, in all his life he'd never said a bad word to the girl, yet here he was, ready to break her heart.

Adam watched as Lexi began to panic, her eyes widening as she begged him to explain what was going on, why couldn't she just understand?

They needed to be done. 

"This relationship, or whatever it was. I stopped feeling anything towards you months ago. It was just convenient. You just stopped being enough" he stated, at this comment the boy knew he had crossed the line, he knew about the girl's constant struggle with the idea of never being enough, but it was too late to apologise now, the damage was done.

"This is a joke right? Gorgeous, please" The girl begged, why was she so blind, Adam Banks was done.

"It's Adam. My name is Adam" the boy spoke simply, He felt guilt as he was sure that he actually heard Lexi's heart snap into a million pieces.

She brokenly begged the boy to tell her how to be better, she could change, at least that's what she thought. Adam knew nothing could change, he had to go.

"Can I have the ring I gave you back?" he said, holding out his hand.

"You promised me you'd never leave me" the small girl whimpered, looking into the boys eyes and waiting for him to tell her that it was all a cruel joke.

"Some promises are made to be broken" Adam spoke, another wave of guilt rushed through his body as he looked at the girl , he let her down and he knew that but there was nothing he could do about it.

"But I'm not a promise, I'm a girl who loves you. Please don't do this to me" she begged, Adam froze for a moment he promised he'd never leave her, but the girl was naive, not every promise was destined to work out.

The boy had no emotions on his face as he held out his hand for the ring

"I thought we were bestfriends, I thought we were in love" the girl spoke, clearing her throat as her voice broke due to the tears down her face and the sobs leaving her mouth. 

"Were, as in past tense" he spoke, still seeming bored with his venomous tone, the boy turned, ready to end the conversation.

"I hate you" Adam knew this wasn't true, he knew the girl loved him with all of her heart, but somehow he found himself feeling angry as the words left the girls mouth, he kept his face cold as he responded to her ready to put the final stamp on their relationship.

"I hate you too" The boy had no emotions on his face as he held out his hand for the ring.

Lexi gently slid the ring off of her finger. Placing it in her shaking hand before handing it to Adam who took it and without a word left her room.

The boy walked towards his house, throwing open his front door and walking past his father who looked at him in shock, the boy hadn't been home in months.

Lexi Conway's home had been his home. Lexi Conway was his home. 

Adam walked inside his bedroom, throwing the promise ring and he watched as it landed on the floor, he knew that Lexi would be watching him, he needed her to see his actions.

Slowly the boy moved towards the curtains, meeting the eyes of the girl, he sent her a blank look before he pulled the curtains closed, blocking her view of him, shutting her out of his life.

The curtains closed and the room was engulfed with a darkness that truly reflected the mood and feelings of the boy.

As soon as he was sure the curtains were closed Adam Banks dropped to the ground, frantically scooping the ring into his hand and kissing it before he placed his head on his knees and sobbed.

Adam Banks loved Lexi Conway, he'd spent 15 years loving her.

He knew he would never ever stop, no matter what Zoe made him do.