The Ultimate Emo Crossover

Armageddon

Sebastian slithers along the beach, switchblade OUT. He is afraid. He is paranoid anytime he leaves his mother's basement, but he mistakes this paranoia for bravery.

It is dusk. He is sooo addicted to nicotine--but his mother doesn't know. He has to come to the beach at late hours to make up for all the smoking he didn't do during the day.

He stands at the edge of the dock, and chain smokes 30 cigarettes in a row. He listens to Black Veil Brides through tinny airpods, filled with stale earwax. He flicks each cigarette into the ocean, not because he doesn't care about littering, but because he just really hates fish.

Especially crabs.

He had to suffer through that STD some years ago. He still doesn't understand that they weren't actual crabs though.

"Fuck you guys," he says into the abyss.

His hair is blown this way and that by the night wind. It frustrates him. "Ah!" he chirps, trying to hold down his locks, "Not the hair!!" He is flustered because he always must have at least one eye completely obscured by hair, even when he's the only one in the vicinity.

Or so he thinks.

The sea begins to part rapidly, and in shock, Sebastian falls backwards onto his rear. He scrambles backwards, confused. He is an atheist. This can't be happening.

The middle of the sandy floor is barren as all the sea critters gather back into the water on either side. It is still and eerie and totally level with Sebastian.

In the distance, he can see someone walking towards him. He gets bigger the closer he comes. Sebastian squints his one eye.

It is a man, and he walks like he owns the place--like he's just soooo goddamn cool. As he draws closer, Sebastian can hear the clanging of the buckles on his boots.

Is it...himself? He wonders. The hair is nearly identical, and he wears all black too. The only difference is his gait, which is way more confident, as well as his height, taller, his arms, more muscular...his lips, so full, his package, so--

It's Andy Biersack of Black Veil Brides.

"What are you doing here?" says Sebastian.

When Andy is close enough, he looks up at Sebastian from the floor. The water begins to collapse around him again.

"Watch out!" Sebastian yells.

Andy smirks. The water does not drown him, but propels him up because he can stand over top of it too. Now he is at the same level as the dock, and steps up onto it, Sebastian at his feet like a fucking dog.

"Silly boy," Andy says, "I can't die."

The ocean begins to move again as if nothing happened.

"What just happened?" Sebastian asks.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Are you gas-lighting me right now?"

"What's that?"

Sebastian is dumbfounded. "Are you kidding me?" He sighs, exhaling smoke even though he did not inhale any. He's just really addicted to nicotine right now. "Why did you come here?"

Andy looks philosophically into the distance. Sebastian follows his eye line and there is nothing there. "I don't know. Just like, really horny right now."

"Oh."

Andy puts a hand behind his head and flexes, moving his head towards Sebastian as he gets up, but looks beyond him instead of at him. He fixes his hair as if he's looking into a mirror. Again, there is nothing there.