The Ultimate Emo Crossover

Golden Shower

Sebastian banged on the bathroom door with his entire arm at least twenty minutes later. "Open up, I gotta piss."

The lock clicks and Sebastian swings the door open, banging into Andy's head below, who lays in the fetal position.

"Ew," Sebastian says, already unbuckling his belt. "Don't lay on the floor, it's fucking gross in here." He is already peeing as he's walking to the toilet.

Andy stares ahead at the wall, glassy eyed. "It's okay. I only just caught about five STD's."

"That's hot." Sebastian says over his stream. "But that's not how it works. It's more like this--" Like a firehose, he projects his stream into Andy's mouth for half a second. Andy sputters and jumps up, wiping his mouth on his arm.

"That's it! I'VE HAD IT!"

The pee stops abruptly. Sebastian looks over his shoulder, pleasantly surprised. "Aw, does the widdle baby want me to hold it's hair while it throws up into the potty?"

Andy jumps to his feet, and like lightning, snatches Sebastian's dick in his grasp, looking him fiercely in the eyes.
Now Sebastian is afraid. Frozen into place, he looks up into Andy's eyes.

"Listen, I've been trying hard to keep it together right now, and I don't know if you realize this, but I don't know where the fuck I am. Last thing I remember is fooling around with some fan--age is just a number, alright?!--and then I black out, walk on water apparently, then fall onto the beach where I was so fortunate to run into you! And now I'm just following you around, experiencing your boring fucking life in a place I've never heard of, like we're in some weird crossover fanfiction, and god, I miss my private jet. Even when I didn't need to go anywhere, I'd go hang out there just to take a shit to feel important, you know? And oh my god, my wife's probaby so worried--" at that, Sebastian shoves him to the wall and kisses him as hard as he can. The whiplash is so strong that Andy's studded cuffs are embedded in the wall behind him.

It's sexy.

Sebastian slowly pulls away and Andy stares at him, wide-eyed. Sebastian stares at him, inches away from his face, bedroom eyes.

"Fuck your wife," he says, "Welcome to Stardew Valley, bitch."

At that, Andy stares off, past Sebastian, suddenly remembering everything leading up to the incident.

So there I was, on tour, just after a show. It went great. Did the usual set, "The End," "Legacy," "Fallen Angels," all that shit little girls wet their pants for, getting on my knees, ruining my throat from all the screaming, pulling my dick out a few times to give the people more of a show than they asked for but didn't know they needed. Ashley Purdy jerked me off this time, too. It wasn't gay, it was for the ladies. It was like two gay porn stars getting $500 each for a scene. Though, that whole fiasco got me wondering if I could've been a little gay. The rough anal later that night with Sebastian definetly confirmed it, but let's not get too ahead here.

So Ashley Purdy's tugging on my cock, and I don't think I'm getting hard from his hand necessarily, but from all the young ass I'm looking at in the audience. It's pretty much all girls, and some guys that look beta like Sebastian, all wearing that stupid fucking facepaint I got on, like we're all one in the same, except they just look like they're in Halloween costumes. I'm the real deal.

Actually, I think I'm just getting off to myself. I'm just confused because there isn't a mirror in front of me like there usually is when I do this. Jake Pitts is next to us, doing one of his lame solos, I can't even tell which one since they all sound the same, all scales and one or two beginner techniques.

Anyway, I cum, the crowd goes wild. The security guards have all left at this point--you know, those blue collar type guys, can't stand this type of shit for some reason--so now it's just total anarchy. I forget where the cum goes--we always try to flail the thing around so we can get a nice even coating on everybody, just spreading the ol' seed, you know, but anyway, total anarchy. Us VansTour guys like to pride ourselves on our crazy mosh pits, but this was real; a whole other level. Like, the girls were taking chunks out of each other. Their arms. With teeth. Actual blood. I know I always did the whole fake blood bit, having it pour out of my mouth, but real blood made me faint.

They were still taking their bras off and throwing them around, which was nice--except they were using them to strangle each other. My semen sent them into a jealous rage. I did what any good idol would do and slinked off stage into my dressing room, where, of all people, my nemesis awaited me.

Dahvie Vanity.