Save him

Chapter 9

Lana and Tommy had been asleep for only a few hours when Lana was woken up by the constant moving next to her. She opened her eyes and rubbed them to try and wake herself up more. Next to her Tommy was fast asleep, but he was moving around, his eyebrows furrowed and he was mumbling something. Lana knew that he was having his nightmares but she didn't know if she should wake him up or not. She decided she should as she couldn't watch Tommy go through anymore of this pain.

"Tommy...Tommy, wake up love." She gently shook Tommy's shoulders trying to coax him out of the nightmares. All of a sudden he shot up, out of breath and sweaty. He didn't even take notice of Lana sat next to him, he just stared at the wall in front of him, like any second he was expecting a German soldier to start tunnelling into the room. Lana knew exactly what his nightmares looked like so she gave him a second to be aware of his surroundings before coddling him. He rubbed his eyes tiredly before turning to Lana.

He sighed. "Sorry did I wake you?" Lana just smiled, she brought her hand to rest on his arm.

"Don't apologise Love, I'd rather you wake me up than deal with that by yourself." She rubbed her hand up and down his arm to try and calm him down and ground him to the moment. He sighed again, rubbing his eyes. He laid back down, placing his head on Lana's stomach. She sighed herself and put her hands into his hair, playing with it and stroking his head in a calming manner. Tommy closed his eyes, trying to get back to sleep and forget about the nightmare. He liked that Lana never asked about his nightmares or made him explain what had happened in them, she never told him but he was sure that she already knew what the nightmares were about. 

Tommy was still getting used to the fact that Lana already knew everything that happened to the family, everything that happened to him in the future. He wanted to ask her, he wanted her to tell him everything that would happen. But Lana had already said that she knew it would make him too cocky and she wasn't sure that everything would be in the original timeline now that she was in the picture. Tommy lifted his head off of her stomach and looked up at her. She met his eyes.

"Can you tell me something?" Tommy asked.

Lana sighed, "Well depends on what you want to know." 

"Tell me something about my future." Lana sighed again and looked at him with a frustrated look in her eye.

"I know, I know that you don't want to tell me anything because it might mess something up but surely there must be something you can tell me that won't affect much." Tommy tried to bargain.

Lana thought about it for a few moments and sat up, bringing Tommy to sit up with her and sit next to her. He put his arm around her shoulder to bring her closer and she grabbed his other hand, playing with his fingers and drawing patterns on the palm of his hand.

"Well in the timeline that I know, Grace leaves in a few weeks." Tommy got confused.

"Well that's hardly anything to do with me." He said. 

Lana sighed again, there was a lot of sighing going on at the moment. "In between now and when she leaves, you both fell in love with each other." Tommy stiffened at these words. Lana continued. "She left, even though you were both in love because she was the one that betrayed you. A couple of years later, she comes back from America and she's married. She comes to see you and one thing leads to another and you end up sleeping together." 

Tommy was drawing patterns into Lana's shoulder as he could feel her becoming more and more tense as she continued talking. Tommy said, "Don't tell me if it's going to bother you." 

"No, you deserve to know this Tommy, you deserve to know if this timeline is the one that you want to live." Before Tommy could interject and tell her that he had no feelings for Grace she continued.

"She fell pregnant, and not long after that you got married." Lana chuckled at herself remembering when Tommy was telling all the Blinders not to fight in the kitchens of his mansion. Tommy shook his head in disbelief, he couldn't imagine that happening, not with Grace. 

Lana continued. "About a year and a half after that, Grace took a bullet that was meant for you and she died. Tommy you were absolutely heartbroken and it was so hard seeing you like that. You just completely shut down, you didn't let anyone help you and you broke down." Lana started to get upset, tears pooling in her eyes. She couldn't even think about Tommy hurting like that, but what bothered her the most was that she couldn't think about Tommy hurting like that over somebody that wasn't her. Tommy took her chin in his hands and wiped the tears that had started falling. 

"Look Lana things can change, although that is the timeline that you saw, that doesn't mean that it's gonna happen now, things can change." Tommy said, trying to bring her some comfort.

Lana nodded, "I know Tommy but even after that you got married to Lizzie and had a baby with her." 

Tommy shook his head. "Listen to me Lana." Lana looked up into his eyes after avoiding looking at him. 

"Look Lana, I don't care if I was meant to have kids with Grace or Lizzie, I don't care if i'm meant to marry them I don't want to. I want you." Lana looked back up into his eyes in shock after avoiding looking at him again.

"You don't mean that." Lana said shaking her head. 

"Of course I mean it. Lana, I love you." Tommy said. He looked at her, not knowing what to expect. He was nervous and Tommy hadn't felt this nervous in a very long time. But he also felt extremely happy. Since the war all he had felt was panic, stress and tiredness. But ever since he met Lana he felt love,  hope and happiness. He didn't want to lose that, he didn't want to lose her. His heart was beating so fast waiting for Lana to say something. He looked down at her face and she was smiling.

The tears running down her face were no longer due to sadness but happiness. Tommy Shelby had just told her that he loved her. 

"But what about the future you're supposed to have? If you love me then you can't have that." Lana said, making sure that Tommy knew about the consequences of what he was saying.

"I've never been so sure about anything in my life Lana. I don't want that future, I want a future with you. Only you." Tommy said bringing his face closer to hers. 

"I love you too Mr Shelby." Lana whispered, their faces closer now. 

Lana placed her lips on his in a passionate but gentle kiss, she brought her other hand to rest on the back of his neck. Tommy moved into the kiss, moving his body to lean over Lana's laying down beneath him on the bed. They both continued kissing until they were interrupted by a loud knocking on the door downstairs followed by Tommy's name being shouted.

They both sat up instantly, Tommy going over to the window to see who it was. Lana came up behind him to see Curley in the street with a lamp in the pouring rain. "Tom, you better come quick, Tom! Come! Come!"

Lana nodded at Curley to let him know that Tommy was coming. "You better go quickly, it sounds urgent." Lana said a look of worry on her face as she went to get Tommy's coat for him whilst he pulled on his shoes. They went downstairs together. 

"I won't be long, I'll go see what the problem is. You should get some sleep." Tommy said, grabbing his coat from Lana's hands and putting it on.

Lana shook her head, "You know I won't be able to sleep, I'll meet you at the Garrison in about half an hour if you want?" Lana said. She knew that without Tommy she wouldn't be able to sleep. She had become so used to having him by her side that she knew it would be useless trying to sleep. 

Tommy looked conflicted at the thought of Lana walking to the Garrison by herself at this time of night but eventually nodded. he leaned forward and gave Lana a short but sweet kiss.

"Please be safe Tommy. I love you." Tommy smiled wide at this, the biggest smile Lana had seen from him.

"I love you too Lana." He said before making his way outside in the pouring rain. 

Lana's smile dropped as soon as the door shut. She knew what Tommy was going to have to do and she knew it was going to break his heart. She just needed to be ready to comfort him to her best ability. She needed to be there for him.