ETHEREAL

CHAPTER 22

My parents are furious with me, not just because I nearly killed myself due to my idiotic actions, but also because I could've gotten arrested for being drunk and underage, as I won't be 21 for another six months. They decide to ground me for at least a month and take away my phone, as they decide what to do with me. "Skye, were you trying to kill yourself, or are you just that stupid?! I think this Damien is a bad influence on you," my mother continues to lecture me about my poor life choices every single day, and I don't blame her.

"It's not him... I make my own choices. I wasn't trying to die, I just felt so depressed about my future, and how I feel like I'm just going in circles...," I slightly lie, because it is him. I wouldn't feel the need to make these grisly choices without him in my life.

I feel despondent and alone. Damien never apologizes for his cruelty, and I pretend like it doesn't bother me.

I still have access to Facebook and my e-mail, as I still have my junky, barely working Toshiba laptop, but he doesn't send me any messages. It is devastating and I hate that I feel like this. It seems like Damien will never be truly mine, and I don't even know if I want him to be, now.

I never wanted to be that pathetic doormat of a girl, existing solely for vile boys to step all over. It is like he doesn't even care, and I'm just caught in another one of this hot and cold games. I sent him one message with the subject line, "postcards from jail (my bedroom)," as a nod to that Fall Out Boy song, and it basically said that I'm grounded for a while, but he never replies. But, he posts a picture to his Facebook from Skins of Tony carrying his sister, Effy, in his arms, as she nearly overdosed and needed to be taken to the hospital, and it mimics how he was carrying me that night. The picture is hauntingly solemn.

I apologize to Vi, but it seems strained between her and I, as her parents are irate that news of this scandal has spread across her small neighborhood, and her father is a diplomat, which means that they can't afford any type of controversy like this. Vi said that they were planning to move to Ellicott City, anyways. It makes me feel even more guilty.

Soon, I receive the news that the UMD has accepted me back for the fall semester, and that finally breaks me out of my sentence. My mom hands me my phone back, and I feel like it has been a long year, rather than just one month. My parents lecture me again about alcohol poisoning, and I promise to never do anything that stupid ever again.

I chew on my lip, and ponder if I should even text Damien. Of course, I text Damien, "I'm not grounded anymore!" He texts back right away, "Yay! =)" I feel like I can only depend on myself and my parents, and no one else truly cares about me. I think that I will major in IT, even though I have no interest in it whatsoever, because I need to turn my life around for the better. I will quit my job at Nordstrom when school starts, and I'll take it seriously. I have to change my life.

"Do you wanna go see the fireworks in Baltimore?" Surprisingly, Damien invites me.

"I thought that you hated Baltimore. & why are there fireworks? Did you schedule them for my return into society?" I smile, as I text back.

"No, idk! Lol," Damien replies and we make plans to go tonight. I feel nervous to see him again, but also excited. I throw on my pale blue skinny jeans, vibrant blue suede hidden platform heels, and a pale blue and white gingham button down shirt, with a corset belt around the waist. It is a different look for me, but I want to be and feel lighter, like I was before, and not so doom and gloom, for lack of a better phrase. My MAC Pink Nouveau lipstick completes the look, and I pick him up.

I feel so excited to be driving my new black Scion tC. It is like a two door, slightly sporty car, and I love it so much more than the Camry. It growls in the sexiest way when I start the engine, and I feel like it sparks me alive. Confusingly, my parents traded in the Camry for the Scion while I was grounded, in order to take advantage of a zero interest offer, but they made it clear that they are not rewarding me for my derelict behavior. My dad trades cars in like it is his job, and he wants a new pair of cars every single year, despite our financial situation. I think that it isn't the best idea, to owe more for these basic Toyota's than they are worth, but my mom nor myself can talk any sense into him.